"I was getting pretty tired of things," he added, "and I s'pose I'd
have wound up in the D. T. parlors of some highly exclusive institution
or behind a bath-room door with a gas-tube in my teeth. But--I met you,
and you went to my head. I wanted you worse than I ever wanted
anything--worse even than I ever wanted liquor. And now I have you.
I've had you for one day, and that's something. I suppose it's silly to
talk about starting over--I don't want to reform if I don't have to;
moderation strikes me as an awful cold proposition; but it looks as if
reform were indicated if I'm to keep you. I'm just an album of
expensive habits, and--we're broke. Maybe I could--do something with
myself if you took a hand. It's a good deal to ask of a girl like you,
but"--he regarded her timidly, then averted his eyes--"if you cared to
try it we MIGHT make it go for a while. And you might get to care for
me a little--if I improve." Again he paused hopefully. "I've been as
honest as I know how. Now, won't you be the same?"
Lorelei roused herself, and spoke with quiet decision.
"I'll go through to the end, Bob."
Bob started and uttered an inarticulate word or two; in his face was a
light of gladness that went to the girl's heart. His name had risen
freely to her lips; he felt as if she had laid her hand in his with a
declaration of absolute trust.
"You mean that?"
She nodded.
He took her in his arms and kissed her gently; then, feeling her warm
against his breast, he burst the bonds that had restrained him up to
this moment and covered her face, her neck, her hair with passionate
caresses. For the first time since his delirium of the night before he
abandoned himself to the hunger her beauty excited, and she offered him
no resistance.
At last she freed herself, and, straightening the disorder of her hair,
smiled at him mistily.
"Wait. Please--"
"Beautiful!" His eyes were aflame. "You're my wife. Nothing can change
that."
"Nothing except--yourself. Now, you MUST listen to me." She forced him
reluctantly into his chair and seated herself opposite. He leaned
forward and kissed her once more, then seized her hand and held it. At
intervals he crushed his lips into its pink palm. "We must start
honestly," she began. "Do you mind if I hurt you?"
"You can't hurt me so long as you don't--leave me. Your eyes have
haunted me every night. I've seen the curve of your neck--your lips. No
woman was ever so perfect, so maddening."
"Always that. You're not a husband at this moment; you're only a man."
He frowned slightly.
"That's what makes this whole matter so difficult," she went on. "Don't
you see?"
He shook his head.
"You don't love me, you're drunk with--something altogether different
to love. ... It's true," she insisted. "You show it. You don't even
know the real me."
"Beauty may be only a skin disease," Bob laughed, "but ugliness goes
clear to the bone."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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