Lorelei realized before long that this very jocundity of his, since it
fed upon constant change and excitement, constituted the gravest menace
to their happiness. The man lived entirely outside of himself; he
utterly lacked the power of self-amusement, and, although he seemed
content when she was near, during the long hours of her absence he was
like a fretful child. He refused to frequent the theater, ostensibly
because of their secret, in reality because of his shame at allowing
her to work. As Lorelei came to know him better and to understand the
conflicting forces within him, she began to wonder how long he could
hold himself true to his bargain.
During the first week of their married life his system struggled to
throw off the effects of his recent dissipations, and in consequence it
craved only rest. Greatly encouraged by this lack of desire, he boasted
that the battle was already won, and Lorelei pretended to agree with
him.
She did not deceive herself, however, and a brief experience convinced
her that to be merely a wife to one of Bob's vagrant disposition was
not enough; that in order to keep his new self alive she must also be
his sweetheart, his chum, and his partner. If she failed in any one of
these roles disaster was bound to follow. But to succeed in them all,
when there was no love to strengthen her, was by no means easy. Always
she felt a great emptiness, and a disappointment that her life had been
so crookedly fashioned: sometimes she even felt degraded, and wondered
if she were doing right, after all. Reason argued that to live with a
man she did not love was immoral, and the mere fact that she and Bob
were legally married gave her no comfort whatever. There had been
nothing sacred in their union; she supposed that the courts would
dissolve it if the truth became known.
More than once Lorelei had spurned offers far more profitable and no
less holy than that existing between her and Bob, and it seemed to her
now that the difference between mistress and wife must lie in something
besides the mutterings of a sleepy Hoboken court officer. Just where
the line of demarcation lay, however, or upon which side of that line
she stood, she could not determine.
In the course of a fortnight Bob began to grow restless. One evening
when he came for her she saw that he was nervous; a strained, tired
look had crept into his eyes, and she thought she understood.
Nevertheless his spirits were ebullient. When they reached home he
ushered her into the apartment with a flourish, and Lorelei was amazed
to find their table set with strange linen, silver, and china and the
dining-room decorated as if for a party.
"Who's coming? What on earth?" she exclaimed.
"A little surprise. A supper for just you and me, my dear."
Two strangers, evidently caterer's men, were completing the final
preparations for an extravagant banquet. Noting a collection of
wine-glasses at each place, Lorelei glanced at Bob reproachfully, but
he only laughed, saying:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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