She would no doubt have recovered from an illness whose symptoms had not
at first given rise to much alarm, had it not been for her age, and more
especially for that gradual weakening, which in time, results from
financial worries, sorrows and mental strain. After the death of her
husband, she had known the worry of financial straits, the necessity for
work, and all the demands of the noblest maternal ambition. This son,
the thought of whom had comforted her broken life, for whose development
she had paved the way, whose success she had followed with so much joy
and confidence, had now in turn, made her suffer, by renouncing the duty
she considered most sacred, the devotion which in the innate
consciousness of one of her race, seemed to her to be most important;
that of continuing, of upholding the tradition of the family. She had
bitterly reproached herself for the excess of delicacy which had
prevented her from acting as peace-maker between Albert and Elizabeth,
in whom she often told herself, she should have been able earlier to
realize the virtue which had lain dormant until it was gradually brought
out by a crisis. This separation had slowly undermined and weakened her.
She exhausted herself in prayer, and in her faith in the expediency of
sacrifice, as of a burnt offering to obtain from God the return of him,
whom she called in secret her prodigal son. With what haste she had gone
to Saint Martin, after her son's last visit, to cheer up Elizabeth's
languishing hopes. On the way she had faced the fatigue which weakened
her limbs, often stopping to take breath, sustained by the idea that she
was bringing a little comfort to the deserted woman. For a moment she
believed that Albert had gone before her. He had come, but had not
remained. Then she had that vision of unusual exaltation; that perhaps
her death might bring about what her life had been unable to accomplish.
If not at once, at least after the second day she understood, alone,
that it was the end, and prepared herself for it. The illness hovered
over her without crushing her, at last took hold of her, but without
that violence which suppresses thought and destroys the intellectual
faculties, in that last struggle that frees an inert body. She departed,
with her brain intact and her heart full. Her calmness was surprising,
almost terrifying to those about her. She asked for religious help and
received it with a piety, which was like the natural breath of her soul.
"Jean," she said several times.
It was the name of her husband, whom no one had heard her mention for a
long time. She was reserved about her most intimate emotions. This name,
so peacefully invoked, revealed the endurance of a deathless love which
eternity would satisfy--or again she would ask:
"Is he coming?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account