"No. She will go away. Marry this young girl, who, as you just said, is
not indifferent to you, whom you will love, whom you perhaps already
love. But marry her without mental reservation."
"I cannot."
"Without a hidden thought. She is so young. Look at her and not at the
past. Live near her and patiently form her mind. Let your life be
altogether upright, without any side issues. That is the secret of
happiness."
He bowed and wished to kiss her hand. She gently drew it away. She would
not even allow him this humble caress. In the long silence which
followed, enwrapping them as the evening mist the sloping meadows, each
was indulging in personal reflections. The air was calm; Nature was
motionless. Some fruit, falling from the branches, and its hard impact
against the ground, made them shudder as a call of time.
She was counting all the lost years of her own happiness, the result of
her former daily routine, and was seeking by what enchantment, what
witchcraft, to blot them out, to restore to her clear days, no longer
troubled and cloudy. He repeated the words she had spoken:
"She will go away."
She was going to Paris with Albert. The reconciliation, which, after a
long time, he no longer doubted since the previous day, was then final.
In order that he might carry away a more vivid and tender impression of
her, he gazed for a long time at the young woman, seated in front of her
country home, surrounded by the trees in the orchard, and caressed by
the peace of the country. On this autumn evening (despite a little
pallor and slimness, which would soon vanish), with her big hood, her
charm of youth and the bunch of grasses which Marie Louise had laid on
her knees, she symbolized that picture of hope of the blossoming earth
in springtime. He contrasted her with another woman whom he had seen in
spring, filled with all the melancholy of autumn. It was Anne de
Sézery, on the terrace of the Luxembourg Garden, at the end of April.
He had accompanied her from the Avenue de l'Observatoire to Cluny in
Albert's absence, and how strangely he had taken advantage of that
tête-à-tête which he had sought with so much patience and cleverness.
From tree to tree along the avenue he put off her confidence. In the
garden, as they followed the stone balustrade from which one can
overlook the central basin and the palace, he stopped suddenly:
"I must speak to you, Mademoiselle."
She intuitively imagined something serious, something, even more serious
than he could say, as her question indicated:
"Has our friend asked you to do so?"
"No, no!"
She was somewhat comforted.
"Well, I am listening to you."
He began with a question:
"You are not happy. Albert is not happy."
She tried to smile.
"Is that evident?"
"Yes."
"Well, we prefer our unhappiness to other people's happiness."
"Are you sure?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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