"Don't you see him?" she constantly asked Marie Louise, who was
far-sighted.
But they had to come in to lunch without him. Anxious about his
prolonged absence, she went to Grenoble. She found him in the Boulevard
des Adieux, trying to work, and was surprised at the weary expression on
his face. Why did he not come back? He explained to her that half
separation was more cruel than complete separation, and that they must
choose: either to take up their life together, or to recognize finally
that that was impossible.
"Come," she said. "You will never go away again."
"Do you wish it?"
"Yes."
Next day he went up with his books and his luggage.
"A curious time for a holiday in the mountains," thought the mule-driver,
who brought his cases. It was already October and the last bathers had
left. The old house at Saint Martin was so roomy that Elizabeth could
give him a little suite on the top floor. She herself had summoned him.
They lived under the same roof, they loved each other, and they could
not give expression to their love. An unconquerable force held them
back.
"She lives over there," she thought. "Does he often think of her?"
And, at the sight of her, so fragile and pale, with tender frightened
eyes, he, beginning to understand all the sorrow he had made her suffer,
treated her like a very delicate fiancée whom one must not frighten.
"Our first kiss will come from her," he hoped. "Had she forgotten? ..."
But he himself had not forgotten, would doubtless never forget Anne de
Sézery. Although the suddenness of her disappearance had changed his
remembrance of her, she had been one of the episodes which make a
lasting impression on one's deeper nature, to which men often return in
thought, when searching their past for marks of emotion. Only he had
exhausted its worth. She no longer exerted any influence over him. If
she had come back, she would not have regained her power, whereas
Elizabeth, so well-loved before, added a charm and the attraction of the
unknown to the strength of old desires and illusions. She was the living
representation of his youth and a new wife as well, the finding of whom
uplifted him.
Intimacy, with its thousand renewed ties, joined their lives. One day,
blushing a little, she had begged him to undertake the management of her
property. Thus she gave up her independence, placed herself again under
her husband's protection, and restored to him the charge of the family,
and, as a result of this, Albert felt more buoyant. The days went on
monotonously. After work, there were long walks with the children, and
in the evenings a little music, reading and plans for the future which
they now made together. The season was advancing and they did not speak
of leaving. With the solitude, happiness surrounded and besieged the
hermitage of Saint Martin. What were they waiting, that they did not
open the gates to it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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