But this same night, whose pure calmness she invoked, was wrapping in
its coolness of closing summer, the love of Albert and Anne. By a sudden
change she detested it, and called for daylight, less indulgent to
lovers, and therefore less distressing to her. After accepting her
desertion patiently and calmly for five months, she was now rebelling
and wringing her hands, as she reproached the night. Ignorance, the
feeling of offended dignity, contempt, no longer protected her from the
jealous fury which possessed her. They were together at this hour--side
by side, and too late she knew the strength of that passion which had
attracted them, the one to the other, and which she herself, by leaving
him, had allowed to develop. This Anne de Sézery whom she had received
in her home without heeding her ardent nature, whom she had never looked
at except to find fault with her--of whom she never thought till then,
except to attribute to her the basest of motives, she now pictured with
her golden eyes, her face lighted up by emotion and the intellectual
delight which emanated from her. She hated her--while she tried to be
just to her. She was keenly alive to her suffering, as though she had
just been deceived.
A cry which echoed from afar aroused her. It was one of those calls
which the shepherds send from one hill to another: a prolonged and
lingering note--followed by a sharp trill which seemed to mock her. It
was repeated once, then again, growing more distant, less distinct. The
silence added to it, accentuated its dual expression of mockery and
despair. Was it the signal of a lover or the good-by of shepherd?
Elizabeth, overwhelmed, listened for its repetition. The return to her
thoughts tired her so, that she longed to find rest from the expression
of her sorrow in any external manifestation, even in discordant music.
But in the silence, she surrendered again to the loneliness of love. Had
she ever felt that love before, or, so aroused, was she experiencing it
for the first time? It dispelled triumphantly, with brutality and
certainty, all the contempt she had felt in the past few weeks, since
she had known of the secret wickedness going on about her in the name of
love. She even forgave Philippe Lagier his impertinent confession, for
the sake of the warning he had given her at Grenoble, which now came
back to her memory like a realized prediction.
"To love, if one sincerely loves you," he had said--"if one spares you
every difficulty, every effort, is not to one's credit. To love when you
are deserted, betrayed, forgotten, when your heart is trampled
upon,--that is love."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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