The Awakening of Helena RichieDeland, Margaret Wade Campbell
General
The Awakening of Helena Richie
Deland, Margaret Wade Campbell
Women -- Fiction
The house was quite silent now, except when Sarah trudged up the back
stairs with the clanking silver-basket on her arm. The lamp on the
corner of her bureau flickered, and a spark wavered up the chimney; the
oil was gone and the wick charring. She got up and blew the smouldering
flame out; then sat down again in the darkness.... Yes; Lloyd was no
longer vitally interested in Frederick's health. She must make up her
mind to that. But after all, what difference did that make? He loved
her just the same, only men are not like women, they don't keep on
saying so,--for that matter, she herself did not say so as often as in
those first days. But of course she loved him just as much. She had
grown a little dull, she supposed. No; she would not distrust him. She
was sure he loved her. Yet behind her most emphatic assertions cowered
that dumb apprehension which had struck its cold talons into her heart
the day that David had hurt his hand: ... _Suppose Frederick's death
should be an embarrassment to Lloyd!_
In the darkness, with the brush of the locust branches against the
closed shutters of the east window, her face blazed with angry color,
and she threw her head up with a surge of pride. "If he doesn't want
me, I don't want him!" she said aloud. She pulled the lace bertha from
her shoulders, and began to take out her hairpins, "I sha'n't be the
one to say 'Let us be married.'"
When she lay down in the darkness, her eyes wide open, her arms
straight at her sides, it flashed into her mind that Frederick was
lying still and straight, too. His face must be white, now; sunken,
perhaps; the leer of his pale eyes changed into the sly smile of the
dead. _Dead._ Oh, at last, at last!--and her mind rushed back to its
own affairs....That horrible old Mr. Wright and his insinuations; how
she had worried over them and over the difficulty of getting away from
Old Chester, only that afternoon. Ah, well, she need never think of
such things again, for never again could any one have an insulting
thought about her; and as for her fear that Lloyd would not want her to
leave Old Chester--why, he would take her away himself! And once
outside of Old Chester, she would have a place in the world like other
women. She was conscious of a sudden and passionate elation: _Like
other women._ The very words were triumphant! Yes; like that dreadful
Mrs. King; oh, how intolerably stupid the woman was, how she disliked
her; but when Lloyd came and they went away together, she would be like
Mrs. King! She drew an exultant breath and smiled proudly in the
darkness. For the moment the cowering fear was forgotten....How soon
could he come? He ought to have the telegram by ten the next
morning--too late to catch the express for Mercer. He would take the
night train, and arrive at noon on Saturday. A day and a half to wait.
And at that she realized with sudden astonishment that it was still
Thursday. It seemed hours and hours since she had read that telegram.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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