"But you will not be quite alone, For, though they've chaplains of their own, Of course this noble well-bred clan Receive the parish clergyman." "Oh, silence, sir!" said SIMON M., "Dukes--earls! What should I care for them? These worldly ranks I scorn and flout!" "Of course," the agent said, "no doubt." "Yet I might show these men of birth The hollowness of rank on earth." The agent answered, "Very true-- But I should not, if I were you." "Who sells this rich advowson, pray?" The agent winked--it was his way-- "His name is HART; 'twixt me and you, He is, I'm griev'd to say, a Jew!" "A Jew?" said SIMON, "happy find! I purchase this advowson, mind. My life shall be devoted to Converting that unhappy Jew!" [Illustration] [Illustration] HE AND SHE HE. I know a youth who loves a little maid-- (Hey, but his face is a sight for to see!) Silent is he, for he's modest and afraid-- (Hey, but he's timid as a youth can be!) SHE. I know a maid who loves a gallant youth-- (Hey, but she sickens as the days go by!) _She_ cannot tell him all the sad, sad truth-- (Hey, but I think that little maid will die!) BOTH. Now tell me pray, and tell me true, What in the world should the poor soul do? HE. He cannot eat and he cannot sleep-- (Hey, but his face is a sight for to see!) Daily he goes for to wail--for to weep-- (Hey, but he's wretched as a youth can be!) SHE. She's very thin and she's very pale-- (Hey, but she sickens as the days go by!) Daily she goes for to weep--for to wail-- (Hey, but I think that little maid will die!) BOTH. Now tell me pray, and tell me true, What in the world should the poor soul do? SHE. If I were the youth I should offer her my name-- (Hey, but her face is a sight for to see!) HE. If I were the maid I should fan his honest flame-- (Hey, but he's bashful as a youth can be!) SHE. If I were the youth I should speak to her to-day-- (Hey, but she sickens as the days go by!) HE. If I were the maid I should meet the lad half way-- (For I really do believe that timid youth will die!) BOTH. I thank you much for your counsel true; I've learnt what that poor soul ought to do! [Illustration] DAMON _v._ PYTHIAS Two better friends you wouldn't pass Throughout a summer's day, Than DAMON and his PYTHIAS,-- Two merchant princes they. At school together they contrived All sorts of boyish larks; And, later on, together thrived As merry merchants' clerks.