"How strange," I said to one I saw, "You quite upset our every law. However can you get along So systematically wrong?" [Illustration] "Dear me," my mad informant said, "Have you no eyes within your head? You sneer when you your hat should doff: Why, we begin where you leave off! "Your wisest men are very far Less learned than our babies are!" I mused awhile--and then, oh me! I framed this brilliant repartee: "Although your babes are wiser far Than our most valued sages are, Your sages, with their toys and cots, Are duller than our idiots!" But this remark, I grieve to state, Came just a little bit too late; For as I framed it in my head, I woke and found myself in bed. Still I could wish that, 'stead of here, My lot were in that favoured sphere!-- Where greatest fools bear off the bell I ought to do extremely well. [Illustration] A MIRAGE Were I thy bride, Then the whole world beside Were not too wide To hold my wealth of love-- Were I thy bride! Upon thy breast My loving head would rest, As on her nest The tender turtle-dove-- Were I thy bride! This heart of mine Would be one heart with thine, And in that shrine Our happiness would dwell-- Were I thy bride! And all day long Our lives should be a song: No grief, no wrong Should make my heart rebel-- Were I thy bride! The silvery flute, The melancholy lute, Were night-owl's hoot To my low-whispered coo-- Were I thy bride! The skylark's trill Were but discordance shrill To the soft thrill Of wooing as I'd woo-- Were I thy bride! The rose's sigh Were as a carrion's cry To lullaby Such as I'd sing to thee-- Were I thy bride! A feather's press Were leaden heaviness To my caress. But then, unhappily, I'm not thy bride! [Illustration] THE BISHOP OF RUM-TI-FOO AGAIN I often wonder whether you Think sometimes of that Bishop, who From black but balmy Rum-ti-foo Last summer twelvemonth came. Unto your mind I p'raps may bring Remembrance of the man I sing To-day, by simply mentioning That PETER was his name. Remember now that holy man Came with the great Colonial clan To Synod, called Pan-Anglican; And kindly recollect How, having crossed the ocean wide, To please his flock all means he tried Consistent with a proper pride And manly self-respect.