"When in your hip there lurks disease" (So dreamt this lively dreamer), "Or devastating _caries_ In _humerus_ or _femur_, If you can pay a handsome fee, Oh, then you may remember me, With joy elate I'll amputate Your _humerus_ or _femur_." The disconcerted actor ceased The haughty leech to pester, But when the wound in size increased, And then began to fester, He sought a learned Counsel's lair, And told that Counsel, then and there, How COBB'S neglect of his defect Had made his finger fester. "Oh, bring my action, if you please, The case I pray you urge on, And win me thumping damages From COBB, that haughty surgeon. He culpably neglected me Although I proffered him his fee, So pray come down, in wig and gown, On COBB that haughty surgeon!" [Illustration] That Counsel, learned in the laws, With passion almost trembled, He just had gained a mighty cause Before the Peers assembled! Said he, "How dare you have the face To come with Common Jury case To one who wings rhetoric flings Before the Peers assembled?" Dispirited became our friend-- Depressed his moral pecker-- "But stay! a thought! I'll gain my end, And save my poor exchequer. I won't be placed upon the shelf, I'll take it into Court myself, And legal lore display before The Court of the Exchequer." He found a Baron--one of those Who with our laws supply us-- In wig and silken gown and hose, As if at _Nisi Prius_. But he'd just given, off the reel, A famous judgment on Appeal: It scarce became his heightened fame To sit at _Nisi Prius_. [Illustration] Our friend began, with easy wit, That half concealed his terror: "Pooh!" said the Judge, "I only sit In _Banco_ or in Error. Can you suppose, my man, that I'd O'er _Nisi Prius_ Courts preside, Or condescend my time to spend On anything but Error?" "Too bad," said GIBBS, "my case to shirk! You must be bad innately, To save your skill for mighty work Because it's valued greatly!" But here he woke, with sudden start. * * * * * He wrote to say he'd play the part. I've but to tell he played it well-- The author's words--his native wit Combined, achieved a perfect "hit"-- The papers praised him greatly. [Illustration] [Illustration] WILLOW WALY!