But, ah! there's another more serious crime! They wickedly strayed upon The course, at a critical moment of time (I pointed them out to JOHN). The crusher came down on the pair in a crack-- And then, with a demon smile, _Let JENNY cross over, but sent JIMMY back_ (I played on my harp the while). Stern JOHNNY their agony loud derides With a very triumphant sneer-- They weep and they wail from the opposite sides (And _I_ shed a silent tear). And JENNY is crying away like mad, And JIMMY is swearing hard; And JOHNNY is looking uncommonly glad (And I am a doggerel bard). [Illustration] But JIMMY he ventured on crossing again The scenes of our Isthmian Games-- JOHN caught him, and collared him, giving him pain (I felt very much for JAMES). JOHN led him away with a victor's hand, And JIMMY was shortly seen In the station-house under the grand Grand Stand (As many a time _I've_ been). And JIMMY, bad boy, was imprisoned for life, Though EMILY pleaded hard; And JOHNNY had EMILY JANE to wife (And I am a doggerel bard). [Illustration] THE USHER'S CHARGE Now, Jurymen, hear my advice-- All kinds of vulgar prejudice I pray you set aside: With stern judicial frame of mind-- From bias free of every kind, This trial must be tried! Oh, listen to the plaintiff's case: Observe the features of her face-- The broken-hearted bride! Condole with her distress of mind-- From bias free of every kind, This trial must be tried! And when amid the plaintiff's shrieks, The ruffianly defendant speaks-- Upon the other side; What _he_ may say you need not mind-- From bias free of every kind, This trial must be tried! [Illustration] THE PERILS OF INVISIBILITY Old PETER led a wretched life-- Old PETER had a furious wife; Old PETER, too, was truly stout, He measured several yards about. The little fairy PICKLEKIN One summer afternoon looked in, And said, "Old PETER, how-de-do? Can I do anything for you? [Illustration] "I have three gifts--the first will give Unbounded riches while you live; The second, health where'er you be; The third, invisibility." "O, little fairy PICKLEKIN," Old PETER answered, with a grin, "To hesitate would be absurd,-- Undoubtedly I choose the third." "'Tis yours," the fairy said; "be quite Invisible to mortal sight Whene'er you please. Remember me Most kindly, pray, to MRS. P." Old MRS. PETER overheard Wee PICKLEKIN'S concluding word, And, jealous of her girlhood's choice, Said, "That was some young woman's voice!"