At the outset I may mention it's my sovereign intention To revive the classic memories of Athens at its best, For my company possesses all the necessary dresses, And a course of quiet cramming will supply us with the rest. We've a choir hyporchematic (that is, ballet-operatic) Who respond to the _choreutae_ of that cultivated age, And our clever chorus-master, all but captious criticaster Would accept as the _choregus_ of the early Attic stage. This return to classic ages is considered in their wages, Which are always calculated by the day or by the week-- And I'll pay 'em (if they'll back me) all in _oboloi_ and _drachmae_, Which they'll get (if they prefer it) at the Kalends that are Greek! (At this juncture I may mention That this erudition sham Is but classical pretension, The result of steady "cram.": Periphrastic methods spurning, To my readers all discerning I admit this show of learning Is the fruit of steady "cram."!) In the period Socratic every dining-room was Attic (Which suggests an architecture of a topsy-turvy kind), There they'd satisfy their twist on a _recherché_ cold ἄριστον, Which is what they called their lunch--and so may you, if you're inclined. As they gradually got on, they'd τρέπεσθαι πρὸς τὸν πότον (Which is Attic for a steady and a conscientious drink). But they mixed their wine with water--which I'm sure they didn't oughter-- And we Anglo-Saxons know a trick worth two of that, I think! Then came rather risky dances (under certain circumstances) Which would shock that worthy gentleman, the Licenser of Plays, Corybantian mani_ac_ kick--Dionysiac or Bacchic-- And the Dithyrambic revels of those indecorous days. (And perhaps I'd better mention Lest alarming you I am, That it isn't our intention To perform a Dithyramb-- It displays a lot of stocking, Which is always very shocking, And of course I'm only mocking At the prevalence of "cram.") Yes, on reconsideration, there are customs of that nation Which are not in strict accordance with the habits of our day, And when I come to codify, their rules I mean to modify, Or Mrs. Grundy, p'r'aps, may have a word or two to say: For they hadn't macintoshes or umbrellas or goloshes--