Oh! loud were the wailings for ANGUS M'CLAN-- Oh! deep was the grief for that excellent man-- The maids stood aghast at the horrible scene, Especially ELLEN M'JONES ABERDEEN. It sorrowed poor PATTISON CORBY TORBAY To find them "take on" in this serious way, He pitied the poor little fluttering birds, And solaced their souls with the following words:-- "Oh, maidens," said PATTISON, touching his hat, "Don't snivel, my dears, for a fellow like that; Observe, I'm a very superior man, A much better fellow than ANGUS M'CLAN." They smiled when he winked and addressed them as "dears," And they all of them vowed, as they dried up their tears, A pleasanter gentleman never was seen-- Especially ELLEN M'JONES ABERDEEN. [Illustration] [Illustration] THE SUSCEPTIBLE CHANCELLOR The law is the true embodiment Of everything that's excellent. It has no kind of fault or flaw, And I, my lords, embody the Law. The constitutional guardian I Of pretty young Wards in Chancery, All very agreeable girls--and none Is over the age of twenty-one. A pleasant occupation for A rather susceptible Chancellor! But though the compliment implied Inflates me with legitimate pride, It nevertheless can't be denied That it has its inconvenient side. For I'm not so old, and not so plain, And I'm quite prepared to marry again, But there'd be the deuce to pay in the Lords If I fell in love with one of my Wards: Which rather tries my temper, for I'm _such_ a susceptible Chancellor! And every one who'd marry a Ward Must come to me for my accord: So in my court I sit all day, Giving agreeable girls away, With one for him--and one for he-- And one for you--and one for ye-- And one for thou--and one for thee-- But never, oh never a one for me! Which is exasperating for A highly susceptible Chancellor! [Illustration] [Illustration] PETER THE WAG POLICEMAN PETER FORTH I drag From his obscure retreat: He was a merry, genial wag, Who loved a mad conceit. If he were asked the time of day By country bumpkins green, He not unfrequently would say, "A quarter past thirteen." If ever you by word of mouth Enquired of MISTER FORTH The way to somewhere in the South, He always sent you North. With little boys his beat along He loved to stop and play; He loved to send old ladies wrong, And teach their feet to stray. He would in frolic moments, when Such mischief bent upon, Take Bishops up as betting men-- Bid Ministers move on. Then all the worthy boys he knew He regularly licked, And always collared people who Had had their pockets picked.