And his legs will take root, and his fingers will shoot, and they'll blossom and bud like a fruit-tree-- From the greengrocer tree you get grapes and green pea, cauliflower, pineapple, and cranberries, While the pastry-cook plant cherry-brandy will grant--apple puffs, and three-corners, and banberries-- The shares are a penny, and ever so many are taken by ROTHSCHILD AND BARING, And just as a few are allotted to you, you awake with a shudder despairing-- You're a regular wreck, with a crick in your neck, and no wonder you snore, for your head's on the floor, and you've needles and pins from your soles to your shins, and your flesh is a-creep, for your left leg's asleep, and you've cramp in your toes, and a fly on your nose, and some fluff in your lung, and a feverish tongue, and a thirst that's intense, and a general sense that you haven't been sleeping in clover; But the darkness has passed, and it's daylight at last, and the night has been long--ditto, ditto my song--and thank goodness they're both of them over! [Illustration] THE MARTINET Some time ago, in simple verse, I sang the story true Of CAPTAIN REECE, _The Mantelpiece_, And all her happy crew. I showed how any captain may Attach his men to him, If he but heeds their smallest needs, And studies every whim. Now mark how, by Draconic rule And _hauteur_ ill-advised, The noblest crew upon the blue May be demoralised. When his ungrateful country placed Kind REECE upon half-pay, Without much claim SIR BERKELY came, And took command one day. SIR BERKELY was a martinet-- A stern unyielding soul-- Who ruled his ship by dint of whip And horrible black-hole. [Illustration] A sailor who was overcome From having freely dined, And chanced to reel when at the wheel, He instantly confined! And tars who, when an action raged, Appeared alarmed or scared, And those below who wished to go, He very seldom spared. E'en he who smote his officer For punishment was booked, And mutinies upon the seas He rarely overlooked. In short, the happy _Mantelpiece_ Where all had gone so well, Beneath that fool SIR BERKELY'S rule Became a floating hell. When first SIR BERKELY came aboard He read a speech to all, And told them how he'd made a vow To act on duty's call. Then WILLIAM LEE, he up and said (The captain's coxswain he): "We've heard the speech your honour's made, And werry pleased we be. "We won't pretend, my lad, as how We're glad to lose our REECE; Urbane, polite, he suited quite The saucy _Mantelpiece_.