The Babe, B.A. : being the uneventful history of a young gentleman at Cambridge UniversityBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
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The Babe, B.A. : being the uneventful history of a young gentleman at Cambridge University
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
Cambridge (England) -- Fiction; College stories; College students -- Fiction; University of Cambridge -- Fiction
But after a fortnight or so the world in general, with all its
sorts and conditions of men, settled down into its usual routine,
the Freshmen who had all started together diverged into the sets
where their particular tastes attracted them. Some joined musical
societies, and some were put up and blackballed at a meeting of the
old Giggleswickians; some played in the Freshmen’s matches, and some
bought college blazers, and passed contented and leisurely afternoons
in canoes on the Backs. Alan St. Aubyn published his annual humorous
libel on what he playfully called University Life, and the Babe moved
from Malcolm Street into the rooms he had occupied in the Long in the
Great Court Trinity, and Mr. Sykes signalised the occasion by killing
the under-porter’s best cat.
No doubt it was primarily the best cat’s fault, for she had taken an
independent and solitary walk on her own account down Trinity Street,
and Sykes who was waiting at the gate, quite quiet and as good as gold,
for the Babe, who had gone into his room to put down his cap and gown,
saw her returning. So he killed her. Of course he had to tell the Babe
about it, and he thought the best plan would be to take the mangled
corpse--she was not neatly killed--to the Babe’s rooms, which, though
he was not allowed in college, he happened to know, and the first thing
the porter saw was Mr. Sykes racing across the grass with his best cat
hopelessly defunct, dangling from his mouth. He followed, but Sykes got
there first, and was wagging his stumpy tail with a pleased air, as
he deposited his burden on the hearth-rug, when the infuriated porter
entered.
The porter said:
(I.) That Sykes had no business to kill his cat.
(II.) That he had, if possible, even less business in college.
(III.) That Sykes ought to be poisoned.
The Babe answered:
(I.) That there was no question of poisoning Sykes.
(II.) That the death must have taken place outside college, for he had
seen Sykes enter with the corpse in his mouth.
(III.) That the cat had no more business in Trinity Street than Sykes
had in college, so it was six of one and half a dozen of the other.
(IV.) That Sykes should be beaten.
(V.) That, though the cat was not worth it, sentiment went for
something, and there was such a thing as a sovereign.
So Sykes was beaten there and then with a rug strap, and the porter
had a sovereign, and the beaten Sykes was granted safe conduct out of
college again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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