The promise was the most that Marian could ask for, and with this
concession she did not doubt her ability finally to show the child that
the older judgment was wise and far-sighted. She knew that Merry had not
given the promise lightly, and that once given she would be
conscientious in fulfilling it. Her yielding, even to this extent,
atoned for many instances in the past where the girl had seemed
self-willed in insisting upon following her own judgment in spite of
advice from all the family to the contrary; but these were unimportant
incidents compared with the one at issue. Marian was now quite content
to let her daughter have her own way in anything and everything provided
she did not interfere in the gratification of carrying this one great
desire of her mother's life to a happy conclusion.
The relations which had existed between her and Philip Hamlen, and the
responsibility she assumed for the aftermath, had become greatly
magnified during these months. It was natural that she should feel a
real satisfaction if she were able to repair the harm she had
unwittingly inflicted; but Huntington's question, "Are you not thinking
of him and of your obligation more than of your daughter?" proved so
disquieting that before speaking to Merry she had made doubly sure in
her own mind that the only way her responsibility affected her present
actions was to color the result with the romance of the past. She was
sincere in her conviction that at every step of her progress she had
been guided solely by a desire for her daughter's complete and final
welfare, and in her efforts she could find nothing other than a mother's
natural love and anxiety.
There was another satisfaction, Marian admitted to herself, but it had
no bearing upon the situation until after she became convinced that her
attitude was justified from Merry's standpoint. She had never forgotten
Hamlen's domination over her as a girl. At the moment when she met him
so unexpectedly in Bermuda she felt the old-time sensation of dread she
had experienced so many times when alone with him during their childhood
days and the period of their engagement. She had never loved him; this
knowledge had come clearly to her during the years which had
intervened. When she accepted the tacit understanding of an engagement
it was because of the dominating influence of his mind over hers rather
than a response from her heart to his fierce devotion. The break came on
the occasion of the Senior Dance at Harvard to which she accepted Monty
Huntington's escort. Hamlen, bitter against college and college life,
and having no interest in the graduating festivities, not only refused
to attend the dance but forbade her to go without him. Her indignation
gave her strength to rebel against his domination. Later she sailed for
Europe, feeling a profound sense of relief that she had been able to
break the fetters which had bound her, she then realized, against her
will.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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