"Of course; but I mean the women who have been brought up as I have
been. I've always had everything I wanted, and my parents have protected
me against everything. They even protest when I rebel against my own
uselessness by going into settlement work, and in other small ways try
to express my individuality."
"Such as the course in bookbinding with Cobden-Sanderson?"
Merry smiled consciously. "That was such a poor attempt, because I had
no ability. My squares were uneven, my backs were wrinkled, and it was
really such sloppy work."
"Granting that what you say is true, yet the experience gained in doing
it enabled you to understand Hamlen to-day far better than if you had
never attempted it. That is the main point, isn't it?"
"I suppose nothing we do is ever wholly lost," she admitted. "I did
understand Mr. Hamlen, but that understanding has brought me no nearer
to the point where I can help him."
"You helped him to-day more than any one has ever done except
myself.--You see how frankly I accept first glory."
"I helped him?" Merry protested. "Why, I only listened and allowed
myself to be entertained."
"Yes; but there is a difference in the way one does even that. He
hesitated to show you his work and yet he wanted to show it to you. That
was the struggle between the habit of years to restrain his real feeling
and the desire which your sympathetic personality created in him. And
the desire won out. Each time the habit is broken its power over him
becomes weaker. Now do you see the value of the service you rendered
him?"
"It is wonderful how clearly you analyze things!" the girl exclaimed
admiringly. "All I could see was depressing, but you found encouragement
in everything."
"Surely those beautiful books encouraged you?"
"Yes; but they emphasized the awful pity of the deliberate repression of
his full ability."
"Still; the fact that the demand for expression was as stronger than the
will to repress it shows the character beneath."
"Then not to express one's individuality shows a lack of character?"
Merry inquired soberly.
"I think I sense some personal application," Huntington answered
guardedly. "I must know more before I utter further words of wisdom."
The girl looked up into his face inquiringly, and then laughed
consciously. "I am really becoming frightened by your power to
understand," she said, only half jokingly. "I do mean to make a personal
application. I want to express myself individually, but, being a woman,
I cannot find the opportunity. If I really had character I'm sure that I
should force the opportunity."
Huntington realized that in hesitating to answer her question he had
been wiser than he knew. The seriousness which appeared from time to
time on the girl's face, then, was not a passing mood, but rather the
index of warring emotions. An unguarded word at this moment might do
much injury to a nature which was striving to find itself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account