When Britain's arms by War's fell chance Were baffled by the arms of France, And LOUIS threat'ned in bravado, T' invade us with a huge armado, Not of your men-of-war, but floats Of lighters and flat-bottom'd boats, To fill the land with blood and slaughter, And ravish ev'ry wife and daughter; Of our Religion to deprive us, And send us to their priests to shrive us, To change our leather shoes for wood ones, (For heretics, like us, too good ones,) To carbonade our pigs and ducklings, And fricasee our babes and sucklings, To make us keep a scarlet whore, Who kept so many whores before; To make our parsons mend their lives, And leave their own for laymen's wives; Nay, more, (the worst of papist bands) To re-assume the abbeylands: When all our military Hectors (Well paid to be the land's protectors) For all their vapouring and boasts, Dreaded to see them on our coasts; When ev'ry man was sore amaz'd, And on each other hurried gaz'd; When ev'ry fearful thing was fear'd, And not one glimpse of hope appear'd, To save us from impending ruin, Which these French scoundrels were a brewing, At DONCASTER a troop stepp'd forth, All men of dignity and worth, With wrath and indignation fir'd, (By Mars himself, no doubt, inspir'd,) With minds most valorous and willing, Regardless of their pay--a shilling, Offer'd themselves to fight our battles, And to protect our goods and chattels. To four times four their number mounted,[156] Tho' each a thousand shou'd be counted; Soon as 'twas known they were assembled, The king of France look'd pale and trembled, Recall'd his army from the strand, And drew his lighters all to land. This, soon as mighty FRED'RICK knew, (For quick their fame to Prussia flew,) That king, who all the world must own Has soldiers good as most are known, Said, "Give me sixteen such as these, I'll sack Vienna when I please." O Doncaster! blest corporation, Whose sons add glory to the nation, May Peace and Plenty still attend you, And neighbouring lords their venison send you. But hark! I hear the beat of drum, See here with links[157] the heroes come. Lo, in the front three men of laws, All stedfast for the good old cause. And first see STOVIN,[158] best of men, Equal to brandish sword or pen, Ready, for our defence, to shed His dearest blood, or black, or red. Whilom, commission'd to maintain Fair lady Peace in counties twain, But leaves her now and Themis' bench, To volunteer against the French. His rival next in either skill, See waddling master JOSEPH GILL![159] With no less martial rage inspir'd, Nor yet with tedious marches tir'd, His aid may be depended on; None will suspect he'll ever run, Three times the courage he possesses Of common men, who three times less is, And reason good, for he affords Three times the mark for guns or swords. Happy the man in an attack