The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters

Name: The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters
Author: Jerrold, Douglas William

Jerrold, Douglas William

English literature -- 19th century; English wit and humor

But the poor man was always a culprit. You heard I was once a lawyer’s
clerk, and so, John, respect my Latin. The poor were _adscripti
glebæ_--that is, bound to the soil, a bit of the earth, a lump of the
clay, with no more power to remove themselves than a bramble-bush; if
they did, see what came to ’em. I’ve only just picked up the matter,
but here it is--let it be a warning to you. In the time of Richard the
Second--what a very pauper he’d been if born one!--if any poor man left
his home without a justice’s leave, and was taken in the crime, why, he
was put in the stocks for his rascality. Henry the Eighth--a real tiger
of the royal menagerie--made a law that whipped any beggar begging from
his native place. Another of his laws--some of ’em were written in
the best blood of the country--only whipped the beggar for his first
offence, but cut off his right ear for the second, and blackened him
from head to heel a felon for the third. Well, Edward the Sixth, or
his ministers, branded the vagabond on the shoulder, and gave him as a
slave to anybody who’d be troubled with him, to be beaten, chained, and
otherwise remonstrated with for being poor. He might also, for further
ill-manners of running away, be branded in the cheek, and made a slave
for life. Another running away, and--here really came a bit of summary
humanity--he might be hanged! Queen Elizabeth punished the beggar by
ordering his ear to be “burned through the gristle with a hot iron, of
a compass of an inch about”--that is, not much thicker.

Now, John, I hope you lay these things to your heart: I hope you will
at once acknowledge the wickedness that has very properly been put upon
poverty for hundreds of years, and don’t disgrace yourself and your
relations by becoming a pauper. I have a great regard for you--a very
great regard; nevertheless, if you come to want, I give you up for
ever, and renounce you. I hope, therefore, you will take this warning
in good part, and believe me, your affectionate cousin,

  JUNIPER HEDGEHOG.




LETTER VIII.--_To ---- ----, Naples._

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

Opening the text

The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog lettersJerrold, Douglas William

General

The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters

Jerrold, Douglas William

English literature -- 19th century; English wit and humor

But the poor man was always a culprit. You heard I was once a lawyer’s
clerk, and so, John, respect my Latin. The poor were _adscripti
glebæ_--that is, bound to the soil, a bit of the earth, a lump of the
clay, with no more power to remove themselves than a bramble-bush; if
they did, see what came to ’em. I’ve only just picked up the matter,
but here it is--let it be a warning to you. In the time of Richard the
Second--what a very pauper he’d been if born one!--if any poor man left
his home without a justice’s leave, and was taken in the crime, why, he
was put in the stocks for his rascality. Henry the Eighth--a real tiger
of the royal menagerie--made a law that whipped any beggar begging from
his native place. Another of his laws--some of ’em were written in
the best blood of the country--only whipped the beggar for his first
offence, but cut off his right ear for the second, and blackened him
from head to heel a felon for the third. Well, Edward the Sixth, or
his ministers, branded the vagabond on the shoulder, and gave him as a
slave to anybody who’d be troubled with him, to be beaten, chained, and
otherwise remonstrated with for being poor. He might also, for further
ill-manners of running away, be branded in the cheek, and made a slave
for life. Another running away, and--here really came a bit of summary
humanity--he might be hanged! Queen Elizabeth punished the beggar by
ordering his ear to be “burned through the gristle with a hot iron, of
a compass of an inch about”--that is, not much thicker.

Now, John, I hope you lay these things to your heart: I hope you will
at once acknowledge the wickedness that has very properly been put upon
poverty for hundreds of years, and don’t disgrace yourself and your
relations by becoming a pauper. I have a great regard for you--a very
great regard; nevertheless, if you come to want, I give you up for
ever, and renounce you. I hope, therefore, you will take this warning
in good part, and believe me, your affectionate cousin,

  JUNIPER HEDGEHOG.




LETTER VIII.--_To ---- ----, Naples._

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters

The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters

No reviews yet