The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog lettersJerrold, Douglas William
General
The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters
Jerrold, Douglas William
English literature -- 19th century; English wit and humor
You thought _if_ that language was “too strong to apply to him as a
man, his claims upon the country could not be overrated.” Now, Sir
James, IF the language was too strong (for you said “_if_”), why did
you use it? Why make any comparison between the Saviour of the world
and the colonel of a Grenadier Guards? The Duke, no doubt, has claims
upon the country; though some of these claims, by-the-by, are regularly
settled by the country every pay-day, and come in regularly with his
rents of Strathfieldsaye. Nevertheless, whatever claims he may have
outstanding against us, I don’t think he can enforce any of ’em in the
spirit of Him who said, “Love your enemies; bless them that curse you;
do good to them that hate you; and pray for them which despitefully
use you, and persecute you.” The Duke of Wellington never talks in
this way in the House of Lords; but do we expect that he should? His
business of life, Sir James, has been to fight; and though I think the
trade a very bad one, nevertheless he made the best of the wickedness.
But, Sir James, you, it seems, would bind up the Sermon on the Mount
with the “Wellington Despatches;” and seem to think the battle of
Waterloo a finer acted thing than that small incident rehearsed at the
words, “Take up thy bed and walk.”
Sometime ago, the son of a Christian judge, passing through a London
street, saw, as he thought, a blasphemous representation of the Deity
exposed in a window. In a trice he smashed the glass and tore up the
offensive picture. Right glad am I, for the sake of the convivial True
Blues, that young Mr Bruce was not at the Maldon dinner; otherwise,
where the chairman found a companion picture for Jesus in the Grenadier
tenant of Apsley House, Mr Bruce might have forgotten Sir James Tyrell
in what he might have thought the blasphemer.
“Our Saviour” _and_ the Duke of Wellington! And among the company,
“which was upwards of seventy in number,” were members of Parliament,
captains, esquires, and--my ink turns almost red with shame as I write
it--_and_ clergymen! There were pious Christians, teachers of Christian
flocks, “their eyes red with wine, and their teeth white with milk,”
who sat quietly upon their seats, and heard the British Grenadier
paralleled with Jesus Christ! Answer, Reverends Leigh, Williams, Bruce,
and Henshawe--was it not so? O Conservative clergymen! O True Blue
disciples of beeswing port! O knife-and-fork apostles! when, mute as
fish, you consented to the speech of Tyrell, and so forgot your Master,
did you not, in your souls, hear “the cock crow”?
Well, Sir James, I do recollect what my old grandmother taught me of
the New Testament; and although I’m but a cabman, I hope I do feel, if
I’d ever had the presumption to compare anybody to the blessed Saviour,
I couldn’t have gone to the barracks for him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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