The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog lettersJerrold, Douglas William
General
The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters
Jerrold, Douglas William
English literature -- 19th century; English wit and humor
_Slowgoe._ A mere nothing. All he’s done, poor fellow! is this. He got
a cadetship from Government for a youth some years ago, and he’s just
asked for another. Now, what’s in that, I should like to know? And yet
on the 15th September, Lord Fitzhardinge--but here’s the resolution
(_reads_): “A meeting of some of the influential supporters of the
Liberal interest of the Western Division of Gloucestershire having
taken place at Gloucester on the 15th September 1846, and a statement
having been made by Earl Fitzhardinge _as to his future intentions
with regard to the representation_ of the Division, it was unanimously
decided to support, in every possible way, _the views and intentions of
Lord Fitzhardinge_ as detailed to-day, and as a necessary consequence
to deprecate every attempt which may be made to foil the Liberal
interest in this Division.” And this is signed by a batch of the
independent electors.
_Nutts._ Poor fellow! And what does Grantley say to that?
_Slowgoe._ Doesn’t like it at all--and doesn’t mean to put up with it.
He says (_reads_): “On the field of politics, I stand _precisely on the
spot_ whereon _he_ (Lord Fitzhardinge) _placed me_: I am so far and no
further, _by his immediate desire_, and with his personal concurrence;
and at present it is fair to presume that in his unexplained desertion
of me, he either contemplates a retrograde movement, or he means to
jump beyond me, leave me at a spot to which my obedience to his wishes
led me, and to join the Free Traders to the widest extent of their
wishes. At all events, by every law of courtesy and justice, he ought
to give me _the option_ of taking _either step by his side_.”
_Nutts._ Well, there’s a good deal of truth in that. If I was able to
keep a footman, and he wasn’t to brush my clothes, or clean the plate,
or to bring Mrs Nutts’ lapdog into the room in a manner I liked, I
think I should first say to him, “Is that the way, Jeames, you take
the dirt off my trousers? is that the style you have your forks in? is
that the manner to lift a pug or a spaniel bitch (as the case might be)
worth forty pounds--is that the way to do it?” I should say at first
that he might try again, and not, no, not at once without a warning
word, discharge him, but give him, as the unfortunate Mr Berkeley says,
“the option” of trying his hand again. But so it is. Whether in a House
of Commons, or a house of call for tailors, people have no pity on
their servants.
_Slowgoe._ But Mr Berkeley intends to call a meeting in November
next; for, speaking of the county, he says (_reads_): “I am ready to
sacrifice myself, _as I have long done_, for her _real interests_, but
not to an unworthy conspiracy, if one exists. I am in no way inclined
to commit a _political suicide_, or to allow my public life to die by
the hand of undiscovered assassination.” That’s noble--and like a
sportsman!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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