After a moment, he resumed. "Six years after, I stopped at Monte Carlo
on my way home, and I chanced upon him there. He was with his old
grandfather, living a life that would have driven most young men crazy
with boredom. But--I told you there was something fine about him--he
treated the whole thing as a joke, and I saw that he was the apple of the
old man's eye. He hailed me as an old friend. He welcomed me back into
his life as if I were only associated with pleasant things. But I soon
saw that he was not happy. The memory of that tragedy was hanging on him
like a millstone. He was trying to drag himself free. But he was like a
dog on a chain. He could see his liberty, but he could not reach it. And
the fact that he loved a woman, and believed that he had won her love
made the burden even heavier. So I gathered, though he had his intervals
of reckless happiness when nothing seemed to matter. I didn't know who
the woman was at first, but I urged him strongly to tell her the truth
before he married her. And then somehow, while we were walking together
one night, it came out--that trick of Fate; and in his horror and despair
the boy very nearly went under altogether. It was just the fineness of
his nature that kept him up."
"And your help," said Avery quietly.
His eyes comprehended her for a moment. "Yes, I did my best," he said.
"But it was his own nobility in the main that gave him strength. Have you
never noticed that about him? He has the greatness that only comes to
most men after years of struggle."
"I have noticed," Avery said, her voice very low.
Crowther went on in his slow, steady way. "Well, after that, I left. And
the next thing I knew was that the old man had died, and he was married
to you. You didn't let me into the secret very soon, you know." He smiled
a little. "Of course I realized that you had gone to him rather suddenly
to comfort his loneliness. It was just the sort of thing I should have
expected of you. And I thought--too--that he had told you all, and you
had loved him well enough to forgive him. It wasn't till I came to see
you that I realized that this was not so, and I had been in the house
some hours even then before it dawned on me."
Again he spoke as one describing something seen afar.
"Of course I was sorry," he said. "I knew that sooner or later you were
bound to come up against it. I couldn't help. I just waited. And as it
chanced, I didn't have to wait very long. Piers came to me one night in
August, and told me that the whole thing had come out, and that you had
refused to live with him any longer. I understood your feelings. It was
inevitable that at first you should feel like that. But I knew you loved
him. I knew that sooner or later that would make a difference. And I
tried to hearten him up. For he--poor lad!--was nearly mad with trouble."
Avery's hands closed tightly upon each other in her lap. She sat in
strained silence, still gazing straight before her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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