Christmas stories, English; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘But he had gained, unconsciously,’ said Marion, with a gentle smile,
‘another heart, before I knew that I had one to give him. That
heart—yours, my sister!—was so yielded up, in all its other tenderness,
to me; was so devoted, and so noble; that it plucked its love away, and
kept its secret from all eyes but mine—Ah! what other eyes were quickened
by such tenderness and gratitude!—and was content to sacrifice itself to
me. But, I knew something of its depths. I knew the struggle it had
made. I knew its high, inestimable worth to him, and his appreciation of
it, let him love me as he would. I knew the debt I owed it. I had its
great example every day before me. What you had done for me, I knew that
I could do, Grace, if I would, for you. I never laid my head down on my
pillow, but I prayed with tears to do it. I never laid my head down on
my pillow, but I thought of Alfred’s own words on the day of his
departure, and how truly he had said (for I knew that, knowing you) that
there were victories gained every day, in struggling hearts, to which
these fields of battle were nothing. Thinking more and more upon the
great endurance cheerfully sustained, and never known or cared for, that
there must be, every day and hour, in that great strife of which he
spoke, my trial seemed to grow light and easy. And He who knows our
hearts, my dearest, at this moment, and who knows there is no drop of
bitterness or grief—of anything but unmixed happiness—in mine, enabled me
to make the resolution that I never would be Alfred’s wife. That he
should be my brother, and your husband, if the course I took could bring
that happy end to pass; but that I never would (Grace, I then loved him
dearly, dearly!) be his wife!’
‘O Marion! O Marion!’
‘I had tried to seem indifferent to him;’ and she pressed her sister’s
face against her own; ‘but that was hard, and you were always his true
advocate. I had tried to tell you of my resolution, but you would never
hear me; you would never understand me. The time was drawing near for
his return. I felt that I must act, before the daily intercourse between
us was renewed. I knew that one great pang, undergone at that time,
would save a lengthened agony to all of us. I knew that if I went away
then, that end must follow which _has_ followed, and which has made us
both so happy, Grace! I wrote to good Aunt Martha, for a refuge in her
house: I did not then tell her all, but something of my story, and she
freely promised it. While I was contesting that step with myself, and
with my love of you, and home, Mr. Warden, brought here by an accident,
became, for some time, our companion.’
‘I have sometimes feared of late years, that this might have been,’
exclaimed her sister; and her countenance was ashy-pale. ‘You never
loved him—and you married him in your self-sacrifice to me!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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