New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; United States -- History -- War of 1812 -- Fiction
“If a girl’s lover turns out badly, she ought not to cry about him--it
is neither moral nor respectable. I say this, Sappha, politely and
kindly.”
“Thank you, politely and kindly, Annette.”
“I hope Leonard may come out of this affair better than we think.”
“Thank you. I hope Achille may come out of this affair better than we
think.”
The clash of the front door emphasised this provoking bit of courtesy,
and Sappha flew like a bird to her room, that she might conceal the
tumult of outraged feelings warring within her. And then as soon as she
was alone all her anger fled from Annette to Leonard. She accused him
with bitter unreason; for at this hour she was insensible to everything
but the painfully humiliating results of what she still mentally called
“his quarrel” with Horace Gilson. And, oh, how Annette had hurt her! For
Annette had not yet learned how to endure; and they who can bear
nothing are themselves unbearable.
For two hours she gave full sway to her insurgent feelings; but at the
last every mental struggle ended in her blaming Leonard. Leonard, for
her sake, ought to have avoided such a degrading quarrel--Leonard ought
to have faced it the first thing the following morning, instead of that
he had trifled away the whole day in Nassau Street, and the next day at
Annette’s, and now Annette felt that she had the right to call his
courtesy cowardice.
“Well, then, it looks like cowardice!” she sobbed passionately, “and
then Saturday he told me some story about his lawyer detaining
him--never once did he name Gilson to me. It looks like---- _Oh, wee!
oh, wee!_ my heart will break with the shame of it! Every one will pity
me. Even if some make excuses for Leonard, I shall know it is only pity
for me--only pity! I cannot bear it! I cannot think of it! Father and
mother must take me away--no, no, I must face the shame, smile at it,
what they call ‘live it down.’ Oh, what shall I say? What shall I do?
And mother is too ill to trouble. And to father I cannot complain of
Leonard. Oh, Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!”
And it was while tossed from wave to wave on this flood tide of anger
and sorrow that she was told Leonard was waiting to see her. She rose up
hastily. Had she taken a few moments to calm herself everything might
have been different. But even her opening of the doors between herself
and her lover betrayed the whirl and tumult of the feelings that
distracted her. Nor was this mental storm soothed by Leonard’s presence.
He came eagerly forward to meet her; a pleasant smile on his face and a
white rose in his hand. She took the flower from him, and threw it down
upon the table; and he regarded her with amazement. Her face, her
attitude, the passion of her movements, arrested the words he was eager
to utter; and in that fateful pause Sappha’s unguarded, unconsidered
accusations fell like the voice of doom upon his senses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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