Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Love stories; Somerset (England) -- Fiction
Since the days in which her troubles had come upon Mrs. Askerton,
Clara Amedroz was the first female friend who had come near her
to comfort her, and she was very loth to abandon such comfort.
There had, too, been something more than comfort, something almost
approaching to triumph, when she found that Clara had clung to her
with affection after hearing the whole story of her life. Though
her conscience had not pricked her while she was exercising all her
little planned deceits, she had not taken much pleasure in them. How
should any one take pleasure in such work? Many of us daily deceive
our friends, and are so far gone in deceit that the deceit alone is
hardly painful to us. But the need of deceiving a friend is always
painful. The treachery is easy; but to be treacherous to those
we love is never easy,--never easy, even though it be so common.
There had been a double delight to this poor woman in the near
neighbourhood of Clara Amedroz since there had ceased to be any
necessity for falsehood on her part. But now, almost before her joy
had commenced, almost before she had realised the sweetness of her
triumph, had come upon her this task of doing that herself which
Clara in her generosity had refused to do. "I have made my bed and I
must lie upon it," she said. And then, instead of going down to the
house as she had promised, she wrote the following letter to Miss
Amedroz:--
The Cottage, Monday.
DEAREST CLARA,--I need not tell you that I write as I do
now with a bleeding heart. A few days since I should have
laughed at any woman who used such a phrase of herself,
and declared her to be an affected fool; but now I know
how true such a word may be. My heart is bleeding, and
I feel myself to be overcome by my disgrace. You told
me that I did not understand you yesterday. Of course I
understood you. Of course I know how it all is, and why
you spoke as you did of Captain Aylmer. He has chosen to
think that you could not know me without pollution, and
has determined that you must give up either me or him.
Though he has judged me I am not going to judge him. The
world is on his side; and, perhaps, he is right. He knows
nothing of my trials and difficulties,--and why should
he? I do not blame him for demanding that his future wife
shall not be intimate with a woman who is supposed to have
lost her fitness for the society of women.
At any rate, dearest, you must obey him,--and we will see
each other no more. I am quite sure that I should be very
wicked were I to allow you to injure your position in life
on my account. You at any rate love him, and would be
happy with him, and as you are engaged to him, you have no
just ground for resenting his interference.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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