The movement with which she turned away was expressive; and Frau von
Treumann went out and heaped bitter reproaches on Karlchen, driving with
him to Stralsund in order to have ample time to heap all that were in
her mind, and doing it the more thoroughly that he was in a crushed
condition and altogether incapable of defending himself. For what had he
really cared about the baroness's relationship to Lolli? He had thought
it a huge joke, and had looked forward with enjoyment to seeing Anna
promptly order her out of the house. How could he, thick of skin and
slow of brain, have foreseen such a crisis? He was very much in love
with Anna, and shivered when he thought of the look she had given him as
she followed the people who were carrying the baroness out of the room.
Certainly he was exceedingly wretched, and his mother could not reproach
him more bitterly than he reproached himself. While she was vehemently
pointing out the obvious, he meditated sadly on the length of the
journey he had taken for worse than nothing. All the morning he had been
roasted in trains, and he was about to be roasted again for a dreary
succession of hours. His hot uniform, put on solely for Anna's
bedazzlement, added enormously to his torments; and the distance between
Rislar and Stralsund was great, and the journey proportionately
expensive--much too expensive, if all you got for it was one
intoxicating glimpse of dimples, followed by a flashing look of wrath
that made you feel cold with the thermometer at ninety. He had not felt
so dejected since the eighties, he reflected, in which dark ages he had
been forced to fight a duel. Karlchen had a prejudice against duelling;
he thought it foolish. But, being an officer--he was at that time a
conspicuously gay lieutenant--whatever he might think about it, if
anyone wanted to fight him fight he must, or drop into the awful ranks
of Unknowables. He had made a joke of a personal nature, and the other
man turned out to have no sense of humour, and took it seriously, and
expressed a desire for Karlchen's blood. Driving with his justly
incensed mother through the dust and heat to the station, he remembered
the dismal night he had passed before the duel, and thought how much his
dejection then had resembled in its profundity his dejection now; for he
had been afraid he was going to be hurt, and whatever people may say
about courage nobody really likes being hurt. Well, perhaps after all,
this business with Anna would turn out all right, just as that business
had turned out all right; for he had killed his man, and, instead of
wounds, had been covered with glory. Thus Karlchen endeavoured to snatch
comfort as he drove, but yet his heart was very heavy.
"I hope," said his mother bitingly when he was in the train, patiently
waiting to be taken beyond the sound of her voice, "I do hope that you
are ashamed of yourself. It is a bitter feeling, I can tell you, the
feeling that one is the mother of a fool."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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