England -- Fiction; Love stories; Scholars -- Fiction
And Sir Lionel, as he walked along, began to fear that his own
scruples would now stand in the way of that other marriage--of
that second string to his bow. When, in making his little private
arrangements within his own mind, he had decided that if Miss Todd
rejected him he would forthwith walk off to Miss Baker, it never
occurred to him that his own feelings would militate against such
a proceeding. But such was now absolutely the fact. Having talked
about "dear Sarah," he found that even he would have a difficulty in
bringing himself to the utterance of "dear Mary."
He went to bed, however, that night with the comfortable reflection
that any such nonsense would be dissipated by the morning. But when
the morning came--his morning, one P.M.--his feeling he found was
the same. He could not see Miss Baker that day.
He was disgusted and disappointed with himself. He had flattered
himself that he was gifted with greater firmness; and now that he
found himself so wanting in strength of character, he fretted and
fumed, as men will do, even at their own faults. He swore to himself
that he would go to-morrow, and that evening went to bed early,
trying to persuade himself that indigestion had weakened him. He did
great injustice, however, to as fine a set of internal organs as ever
blessed a man of sixty.
At two o'clock next day he dressed himself for the campaign in
Montpellier Terrace; but when dressed he was again disorganised. He
found that he could not do it. He told himself over and over again
that with Miss Baker there need be no doubt; she, at least, would
accept him. He had only to smile there, and she would smile again. He
had only to say "dear Mary," and those soft eyes would be turned to
the ground and the battle would be won.
But still he could not do it. He was sick; he was ill; he could not
eat his breakfast. He looked in the glass, and found himself to be
yellow, and wrinkled, and wizened. He was not half himself. There
were yet three weeks before Miss Baker would leave Littlebath. It
was on the whole better that his little arrangement should be made
immediately previous to her departure. He would leave Littlebath for
ten days, and return a new man. So he went up to London, and bestowed
his time upon his son.
At the end of the ten days much of his repugnance had worn off. But
still the sound of that word "Sarah," and the peal of laughter which
followed, rang in his ears. That utterance of the verbiage of love
is a disagreeable task for a gentleman of his years. He had tried it,
and found it very disagreeable. He would save himself a repetition of
the nuisance and write to her.
He did so. His letter was not very long. He said nothing about "Mary"
in it, but contented himself with calling her his dearest friend. A
few words were sufficient to make her understand what he meant, and
those few words were there. He merely added a caution, that for both
their sakes, the matter had better not at present be mentioned to
anybody.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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