England -- Fiction; Love stories; Scholars -- Fiction
She will be called cold-hearted, mercenary, and unfeminine. But when
a young girl throws prudence to the winds, and allows herself to love
where there is nothing to live on, what then is she called? It seems
to me that it is sometimes very hard for young girls to be in the
right. They certainly should not be mercenary; they certainly should
not marry paupers; they certainly should not allow themselves to
become old maids. They should not encumber themselves with early,
hopeless loves; nor should they callously resolve to care for nothing
but a good income and a good house. There should be some handbook
of love, to tell young ladies when they may give way to it without
censure. As regards our heroine, however, she probably wanted no such
handbook. "Now I will take any answer you will give me." Bertram,
when he had said that, remained silent, awaiting her reply.
"Mr. Bertram," she said at last, "I think that you have spoken
unwisely; let us agree to forget it. What you have said has come from
impulse rather than judgment."
"Not so, Miss Waddington. I cannot forget it; nor can you. I would
not have it again unsaid if I could. When I once learned that I loved
you, it became natural to me to tell you so."
"Such quick speaking is not perhaps natural to me. But as you demand
an immediate answer, I must give you one. I have had much pleasure in
your society, but I have never thought of loving you. Nor can I love
you without thinking of it."
It would be hard to say what answer Bertram expected; indeed, he had
no expectations. He had had no idea of making this offer when he
walked up the hill with her. His heart was then turned rather to
worship at that other shrine: it had been her own words, her own
eloquence in favour of the world's greatness, that had drawn him on.
He had previously filled his mind with no expectation; but he had
felt an intense desire for success when once he had committed himself
to his offer.
And now, as he walked down beside her, he hardly knew what to make
of her answer. A man, if he be not absolutely rejected, is generally
inclined to think that any answer from a lady may be taken as having
in it some glimmer of favour. And ladies know this so well, that
they almost regard any reply on their own part, short of an absolute
refusal, as an acceptance. If a lady bids a gentleman wait awhile
for his answer, he thinks himself quite justified in letting all
the world know that she is his own. We all know what a reference to
a parent's judgment means. A lady must be very decisive--very, if
she means to have her "no" taken at its full meaning. Now Caroline
Waddington had not been very decisive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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