“I shall prove to you, gentlemen of the jury,” said the Colonel,
solemnly, drawing a _Bible_ from his coat-tail pocket, “that
the defendant, for the last twelve months, conducted an amatory
correspondence with the plaintiff by means of underlined words of
sacred writ and church psalmody, such as ‘beloved,’ ‘precious,’
and ‘dearest,’ occasionally appropriating whole passages which
seemed apposite to his tender passion. I shall call your attention
to one of them. The defendant, while professing to be a total
abstainer—a man who, in my own knowledge, has refused spirituous
refreshment as an inordinate weakness of the flesh, with shameless
hypocrisy underscores with his pencil the following passage and
presents it to the plaintiff. The gentlemen of the jury will find
it in the _Song of Solomon_, page 548, chapter II, verse 5.” After
a pause, in which the rapid rustling of leaves was heard in the
jury-box, Colonel Starbottle declaimed in a pleading, stentorian
voice, “‘Stay me with —er—_flagons_, comfort me with—er—apples—for
I am—er—sick of love.’ Yes, gentlemen!—yes, you may well turn
from those accusing pages and look at the double-faced defendant.
He desires—to—er—be —‘stayed with flagons’! I am not aware, at
present, what kind of liquor is habitually dispensed at these
meetings, and for which the defendant so urgently clamored; but it
will be my duty before this trial is over to discover it, if I have
to summon every barkeeper in this district. For the moment, I will
simply call your attention to the _quantity_. It is not a single
drink that the defendant asks for—not a glass of light and generous
wine, to be shared with his inamorata—but a number of flagons or
vessels, each possibly holding a pint measure—_for himself_!”
The smile of the audience had become a laugh. The Judge looked up
warningly, when his eye caught the fact that the Colonel had again
winced at this mirth. He regarded him seriously. Mr. Hotchkiss’s
counsel had joined in the laugh affectedly, but Hotchkiss himself
was ashy pale. There was also a commotion in the jury-box, a
hurried turning over of leaves, and an excited discussion.
“The gentlemen of the jury,” said the Judge, with official gravity,
“will please keep order and attend only to the speeches of counsel.
Any discussion _here_ is irregular and premature—and must be
reserved for the jury-room—after they have retired.”
The foreman of the jury struggled to his feet. He was a powerful
man, with a good-humored face, and, in spite of his unfelicitous
nickname of “The Bone-Breaker,” had a kindly, simple, but somewhat
emotional nature. Nevertheless, it appeared as if he were laboring
under some powerful indignation.
“Can we ask a question, Judge?” he said, respectfully, although his
voice had the unmistakable Western-American ring in it, as of one
who was unconscious that he could be addressing any but his peers.
“Yes,” said the Judge, good-humoredly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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