“But the true sadness was rather in seeing those who, not having
the spectacles, thought that the iron rod was flexible, and the
ice statue warm. I saw many a gallant heart, which seemed to me
brave and loyal as the crusaders sent by genuine and noble faith to
Syria and the sepulchre, pursuing, through days and nights, and a
long life of devotion, the hope of lighting at least a smile in the
cold eyes, if not a fire in the icy heart. I watched the earnest,
enthusiastic sacrifice. I saw the pure resolve, the generous faith,
the fine scorn of doubt, the impatience of suspicion. I watched
the grace, the ardor, the glory of devotion. Through those strange
spectacles how often I saw the noblest heart renouncing all other
hope, all other ambition, all other life, than the possible love of
some one of those statues. Ah! me, it was terrible, but they had
not the love to give. The Parian face was so polished and smooth,
because there was no sorrow upon the heart,—and, drearily often,
no heart to be touched. I could not wonder that the noble heart of
devotion was broken, for it had dashed itself against a stone. I
wept, until my spectacles were dimmed for that hopeless sorrow; but
there was a pang beyond tears for those icy statues.
“Still a boy, I was thus too much a man in knowledge,—I did not
comprehend the sights I was compelled to see. I used to tear my
glasses away from my eyes, and, frightened at myself, run to escape
my own consciousness. Reaching the small house where we then lived,
I plunged into my grandmother’s room and, throwing myself upon
the floor, buried my face in her lap; and sobbed myself to sleep
with premature grief. But when I awakened, and felt her cool hand
upon my hot forehead, and heard the low, sweet song, or the gentle
story, or the tenderly told parable from the Bible, with which she
tried to soothe me, I could not resist the mystic fascination that
lured me, as I lay in her lap, to steal a glance at her through the
spectacles.
“Pictures of the Madonna have not her rare and pensive beauty. Upon
the tranquil little islands her life had been eventless, and all
the fine possibilities of her nature were like flowers that never
bloomed. Placid were all her years; yet I have read of no heroine,
of no woman great in sudden crises, that it did not seem to me she
might have been. The wife and widow of a man who loved his own home
better than the homes of others, I have yet heard of no queen,
no belle, no imperial beauty, whom in grace, and brilliancy, and
persuasive courtesy, she might not have surpassed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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