know, I do not remember,” etc., etc., etc.; till they came to
the candied orange at the end of the feast—when Dennis, rather
confused, thought he must say something, and tried No. 4—“I agree,
in general, with my friend the other side of the room”—which he
never should have said but at a public meeting. But Mrs. Jeffries,
who never listens expecting to understand, caught him up instantly
with, “Well, I’m sure my husband returns the compliment; he always
agrees with you—though we do worship with the Methodists—but
you know, Mr. Ingham,” etc., etc., etc., till the move was made
upstairs; and as Dennis led her through the hall, he was scarcely
understood by any but Polly, as he said, “There has been so much
said, and, on the whole, so well said, that I will not occupy the
time.”
His great resource the rest of the evening was standing in the
library, carrying on animated conversations with one and another
in much the same way. Polly had initiated him in the mysteries
of a discovery of mine, that it is not necessary to finish your
sentence in a crowd, but by a sort of mumble, omitting sibilants
and dentals. This, indeed, if your words fail you, answers even in
public extempore speech—but better where other talking is going
on. Thus: “We missed you at the Natural History Society, Ingham.”
Ingham replies: “I am very gligloglum, that is, that you were
m-m-m-m-m.” By gradually dropping the voice, the interlocutor is
compelled to supply the answer. “Mrs. Ingham, I hope your friend
Augusta is better.” Augusta has not been ill. Polly cannot think
of explaining, however, and answers: “Thank you, ma’am; she is
very rearason wewahwewob,” in lower and lower tones. And Mrs.
Throckmorton, who forgot the subject of which she spoke, as soon
as she asked the question, is quite satisfied. Dennis could see
into the card-room, and came to Polly to ask if he might not go and
play all-fours. But, of course, she sternly refused. At midnight
they came home delightedly: Polly, as I said, wild to tell me the
story of victory; only both the pretty Walton girls said: “Cousin
Frederic, you did not come near me all the evening.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account