But I see I loiter on my story, which is rushing to the plunge.
Let me stop an instant more, however, to recall, were it only
to myself, that charming year while all was yet well. After the
double had become a matter of course, for nearly twelve months
before he undid me, what a year it was! Full of active life, full
of happy love, of the hardest work, of the sweetest sleep, and
the fulfilment of so many of the fresh aspirations and dreams of
boyhood! Dennis went to every school-committee meeting, and sat
through all those late wranglings which used to keep me up till
midnight and awake till morning. He attended all the lectures to
which foreign exiles sent me tickets begging me to come for the
love of Heaven and of Bohemia. He accepted and used all the tickets
for charity concerts which were sent to me. He appeared everywhere
where it was specially desirable that “our denomination,” or
“our party,” or “our class,” or “our family,” or “our street,”
or “our town,” or “our country,” or “our state,” should be fully
represented. And I fell back to that charming life which in
boyhood one dreams of, when he supposes he shall do his own duty
and make his own sacrifices, without being tied up with those of
other people. My rusty Sanskrit, Arabic, Hebrew, Greek, Latin,
French, Italian, Spanish, German and English began to take polish.
Heavens! how little I had done with them while I attended to my
_public_ duties! My calls on my parishioners became the friendly,
frequent, homelike sociabilities they were meant to be, instead
of the hard work of a man goaded to desperation by the sight of
his lists of arrears. And preaching! what a luxury preaching was
when I had on Sunday the whole result of an individual, personal
week, from which to speak to a people whom all that week I had been
meeting as hand-to-hand friend! I never tired on Sunday, and was
in condition to leave the sermon at home, if I chose, and preach
it extempore, as all men should do always. Indeed, I wonder, when
I think that a sensible people like ours—really more attached to
their clergy than they were in the lost days, when the Mathers and
Nortons were noblemen—should choose to neutralize so much of their
ministers’ lives, and destroy so much of their early training,
by this undefined passion for seeing them in public. It springs
from our balancing of sects. If a spirited Episcopalian takes an
interest in the almshouse, and is put on the Poor Board, every
other denomination must have a minister there, lest the poorhouse
be changed into St. Paul’s Cathedral. If a Sandemanian is chosen
president of the Young Men’s Library, there must be a Methodist
vice-president and a Baptist secretary. And if a Universalist
Sunday-School Convention collects five hundred delegates, the next
Congregationalist Sabbath-School Conference must be as large, “lest
‘they’—whoever _they_ may be—should think ‘we’—whoever _we_ may
be—are going down.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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