After all, how insane it was for him to be huddling miserably, as she
knew he would be, in the arm-chair of his study, gazing with forlorn
eyes at the squalid columns, which it had grown too dark for him to
decipher. She had a vision of what this very evening might yet hold of
recovered magic, if only she had the courage to carry out her simple
cure of his head drawn down on to her left breast, just where her heart
was beating. "Dickie, it's _all right_, you know--it's only Ruth I
You've been sitting with your bogies all the time the white lilac has
been coming out----"
A faint smile lay at last on Ruth's mouth, and in the curve of her
tired eyelids. She went softly into the study. The door was open....
Dickie sprang to his feet with a yell of terror as her hands came round
his neck from behind. He clutched at the revolver in his pocket and
fired, at random, backwards.... In the wall behind them was the round
dark mark of a merciful bullet. And----
"Dickie--oh, Dickie--when you've been frightened--and have to live with
it--and it doesn't even stop at nights--do you understand, now, how it
happens? They've no right to call _that_ murder, have they, Dickie?"
And now, indeed, understanding that the awful act of killing could be,
in a rare once or twice, a human accident for the frightened little
human to commit--understanding, Dickie was shocked back to sanity.
"Dear, dear Ruth----" Why, this stranger woman was no stranger, after
all, but Ruth, his own sweet wife. Dickie was tired, and he knew he
need not explain things to her. He laid his head down on her left
breast, just where the heart was beating.
THE WOMAN WHO SAT STILL
By PARRY TRUSCOTT
(From _Colour_)
1922
When he went, when he had to go, he took with him the memory of her
that had become crystallised, set for him in his own frequent words to
her, standing at her side, looking down at her with his keen, restless
eyes--such words as: "It puzzles me how on earth you manage to sit so
still...."
Then, enlarging: "It is wonderful to me how you can keep so happy doing
nothing--make of enforced idleness a positive pleasure! I suppose it is
a gift, and I haven't got it--not a bit. It doesn't matter how tired I
am, I have to keep going--people call it industry, but its real name is
nervous energy, run riot. I can't even take a holiday peacefully. I
must be actively playing if I cannot work. I'm just the direct
descendant of the girl in the red shoes--they were red, weren't
they?--who had to dance on and on until she dropped. I shall go on and
on until I drop, and then I shall attempt a few more useless yards on
all fours...."
"Come now," in answer to the way she shook her head at him, smiled at
him from her sofa, "you know very well how I envy you your gift, your
power of sitting still--happily still--your power of contemplation...."
And one day, more intimately still, with a sigh and a look (Oh, a look
she understood!), "To me you are the most restful person in the
world...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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