The Beth Book: Being a Study of the Life of Elizabeth Caldwell Maclure, a Woman of GeniusGrand, Sarah
General
The Beth Book: Being a Study of the Life of Elizabeth Caldwell Maclure, a Woman of Genius
Grand, Sarah
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Social conditions -- Fiction
"Pray," Aunt Victoria answered austerely. "Prayer shapes a life; and
those lives are the most beautiful which have been shaped by prayer.
Prayer is creative; it transposes intention into action, and makes it
inevitable for us to be and to do more than would be possible by any
other means."
There was a short silence, and then Miss Victoria began the psalm. It
was a joy to Beth to hear her read, she read so beautifully; and it
was from her that Beth herself acquired the accomplishment, for which
she was afterwards noted. Verse by verse they read the psalms together
as a rule, and Beth was usually attentive; but that evening, before
the end, her attention became distracted by a loud ticking; and the
last word was scarcely pronounced before she exclaimed, looking about
her--"Aunt Victoria, what is that ticking? I see no clock."
The old lady looked up calmly, but she was very pale. "You do hear it
then?" she replied. "It has been going on all day."
Beth's heart stood still an instant, and, in spite of the heat, her
skin crisped as if the surface of her body had been suddenly sprayed
with cold water. "The Death Watch!" she ejaculated.
The ticking stopped a moment as if in answer to the words, and then
began again. A horrible foreboding seized upon Beth.
"Oh, no--no, not that!" she exclaimed, shuddering; and then, all at
once, she threw herself upon her knees beside Aunt Victoria, clasped
her arms round her, and burst into a tempest of tears and sobs.
"Beth, Beth, my dear child," the old lady cried in dismay, "control
yourself. It is only a little insect in the wood. It may mean
nothing."
"It does mean something," Beth interrupted vehemently; "I know--I
always know. The smell of death has been about me all the afternoon,
but I did not understand, although the words were in my mouth. When
things mean nothing, they don't make you feel queer--they don't
impress you. Nine times running you may see a solitary crow, or spill
the salt, or sit down thirteen to table, and laugh at all
superstitious nonsense; then the sign was not for you; but the tenth
time, something will come over you, and you won't laugh; then be
warned and beware! I sometimes feel as if I were listening, but not
with my ears, and waiting for things to happen that I know about, but
not with my head; and I try always to understand when I find myself
listening, but not with my ears, and something surely comes; and so
also when I am waiting for things to happen that I know about, but not
with my head; they do happen. Only most of the time I know that
something is coming, but I cannot tell what it is. In order to be able
to tell exactly, I have to hold myself in a certain attitude--not my
body, you know, _myself_--hold myself in suspense, as it were, or
suspend something in myself, stop something, push something aside--I
can't get it into words; I can't always do it; but when I can, then I
know."
"Who taught you this?" Aunt Victoria asked, as if she were startled.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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