On the floor, close to the opposite wall, lay the motionless form of a
man. This was he, then, who had sought my life, this still form,
struck down by my own hand. What I could distinguish of his clothing
proclaimed him to belong to the well-to-do classes; a silk hat and
gloves, which I had not previously observed, were on a small side
table. A nameless horror stole upon me. With slow, stealthy steps I
approached and knelt by his side, unconscious at the moment that I was
kneeling in a pool of blood. There, gazing with terrified eyes upon
him, I waited for a sign which did not come. Not a breath, not the
vibration of a pulse. His arm lay across his face. Tremblingly I
lifted it aside, and let it fall with a cry of terror on my lips. The
face I had uncovered was that of my half-brother Louis! He was dead,
and I had killed him! The scar on his forehead was blood-red, and
though I was guiltless of causing it, seemed to accuse me; blood was
on his face and clothes, there was a wound in his breast--his
death-blow--delivered by me whom he hated, by me, who had hated him in
life. Oh, cruel fate that made me his murderer!
The shock of the discovery overwhelmed me. I knew what his death meant
for me. It did not dawn upon my mind; it came in one sudden, blasting
flash. All that had gone before was light in comparison with this
mortal blow, which dealt by my own hand, destroyed beyond redemption
the newly-born hopes which had filled my heart with gladness. My dream
was over. Ellen and I were forever parted.
Oh, God!
I can hear again the echo of the cry of anguish to which I gave in
voluntary utterance.
Oh, God! Oh, God!
But of what use appeal to Him? Rather appeal to man, by whom I should
be judged; relate my story to the earthly judge before whom I should
be arraigned; hide nothing from first to last; expose the remorseless
persecution, the vile cunning, the unspeakable degradation which had
made my home a hell upon earth; state how I had only landed this
night; how, passing through the street I was suddenly attacked and had
simply defended myself, as any man would have done under similar
circumstances----
Pshaw! Who would believe such a tale? It would be scouted with
derision.
If an angel were to come down to testify to the truth of my story he
would not be believed. How, then, could I expect to be believed when
human witnesses would testify to the hate I bore the man whose spirit
was now before God's Judgment Seat? To hope that I could break the
chain of evidence that would be brought against me was the hope of a
madman.
One by one the candles had gone out; the room was now in
semi-darkness. I stood in thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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