The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Laying the cloth with the aid of the waiter._] Yes, sir; while you
were dozing. [_Ecstatically._] They're lovely, sir. [_A bell rings in
the vestibule._] Expect that's the cook, sir. [_He bustles into the
vestibule from the dining-room. There is a short pause and then he
reappears, entering the study at the door opening from the vestibule,
followed by_ ROOPE.] It's Mr. Roope, sir!
PHILIP.
No! [_Throwing his book aside and jumping up._] Why, Robbie!
ROOPE.
[_As they shake hands vigorously._] My dear fellow!
PHILIP.
Return of the wanderer! When did you get back?
ROOPE.
Last night.
PHILIP.
Take your coat off, you old ruffian. [_Putting his pipe down._] I _am_
glad.
ROOPE.
[_To_ JOHN, _who relieves him of his hat, overcoat, and neckerchief._]
How are _you_, John?
JOHN.
Splendid, Mr. Roope. [_Beaming._] Our new novel is _sech_ a success,
sir.
PHILIP.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
ROOPE.
[_To_ JOHN.] So Mr. Mackworth wrote and told me. [_Giving his gloves
to_ JOHN.] Congratulate you, John.
JOHN.
[_Depositing the hat, coat, etc., upon the settee on the left._]
Thank you, sir.
ROOPE.
[_Crossing to the fireplace, rubbing his hands, as_ JOHN _retires to
the dining-room._] Oh, my dear Phil, this dreadful climate after the
sunshine of the Lago Maggiore!
PHILIP.
[_Walking about and spouting, in high spirits._] "Italia! O Italia!
thou who hast the fatal gift of beauty----!"
ROOPE.
Sir Loftus and Lady Glazebrook were moving on to Rome, or I really
believe I could have endured another month at their villa, bores as
they are, dear kind souls! [_Looking towards the dining-room, where_
JOHN _and the waiter are now placing a handsome centre-piece of flowers
upon the round table._] Hallo! A dinner-party, Phil?
PHILIP.
Dinner-party? A banquet!
ROOPE.
To celebrate the success of the book?
PHILIP.
That and something more. This festival, sir, of the preparations for
which you are a privileged spectator--[_shouting to_ JOHN] shut those
doors, John----
JOHN.
Yessir.
PHILIP.
[_Sitting in the chair on the left of the smoking-table as_ JOHN
_closes the big doors._] This festival, my dear Robbie--[_glancing over
his shoulder to assure himself that the doors are closed_] this
festival also celebrates my formal engagement to Madame de Chaumie.
ROOPE.
[_Triumphantly._] Aha!
PHILIP.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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