The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_He breaks off to glance over his shoulder into the
further room._
PHILIP.
Go on. Nobody'll hear you. John's out.
ROOPE.
What happened was this. I overtook 'em at the bottom of the stairs, and
begged 'em to let me go back with them to Ennismore Gardens. Lady
Filson and I got into one cab, Sir Randle and Madame de Chaumie into
another. Bertram Filson slunk off to his club. At Ennismore Gardens we
had the most depressin' meal I've ever sat down to, and then Madame
Ottoline proposed that I should smoke a cigarette in her boudoir.
[_Distressed._] Oh, my dear Phil----!
PHILIP.
W-w-what----?
ROOPE.
I can't bear to see a woman in tears; I can't, positively.
PHILIP.
[_Between his teeth._] Confound you, Robbie, who can! Don't brag about
it.
ROOPE.
At first she swept up and down the room like an outraged Empress. Her
skirts created quite a wind. I won't attempt to tell you all the bitter
things she said----
PHILIP.
Of me?
ROOPE.
And of _me_, dear excellent friend.
PHILIP.
[_Grimly._] For your share in the business.
ROOPE.
[_With a nod._] The fatal luncheon in South Audley Street. However, she
soon softened, and came and knelt by the fire. And suddenly--you've
seen a child fall on the pavement and cut its knees, haven't you,
Phil?----
PHILIP.
Of course I have.
ROOPE.
That's how she cried. I was really alarmed.
PHILIP.
The--the end of it being----?
ROOPE.
[_Dismally._] The end of it being that she went off to bed, declaring
that she recognizes that the breach between you is beyond healing, and
that she's resolved never to cross your path again if she can avoid it.
PHILIP.
[_Laying his pipe aside._] Ha! [_Scowling at_ ROOPE.] And so this is
the result of your self-appointed mission, is it?
ROOPE.
[_Hurt._] That's rather ungrateful, Phil----
PHILIP.
[_Starting up and walking away to the left._] P'sha!
ROOPE.
If you'd heard how I reasoned with her----!
PHILIP.
[_Striding up and down._] What had I better do? It's good of you to be
here so early. [ROOPE _rises._] I'm _not_ ungrateful, Robbie. Advise
me.
ROOPE.
[_Stiffly._] I assume, from your tone, that what you _wish_ to do is
to--er----?
PHILIP.
To abase myself before her; to grovel at her feet and crave her pardon
for my behaviour of last night. What else should I want to do, in God's
name!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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