The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Emphatically._] It will _not_. [_Beaming._] I told you a lie. I've
_no_ business with my lawyers. I came here expressly to improve my
acquaintance with the man who's to be your husband, and for no other
purpose.
[_They all laugh merrily._
OTTOLINE.
Ha, ha, ha! [_To_ SIR TIMOTHY.] Wait for me in South Square, then. I
sha'n't be many minutes.
SIR TIMOTHY.
[_Going into the vestibule._] Ah, I'd wait an eternity!
[PHILIP _and_ SIR TIMOTHY _shake hands once more, and
then_ PHILIP _lets_ SIR TIMOTHY _out._
PHILIP.
[_As he shuts the outer door._] By George, he's a splendid chap! [_He
comes back into the room, closes the vestibule door, and advances to_
OTTOLINE _and stands before her humbly._] Oh, Ottoline--oh, my dear
girl! Shall I go down on my knees to you?
OTTOLINE.
[_In a subdued tone._] If you do, I shall have to kneel to _you_, Phil.
PHILIP.
[_Slowly folding her in his arms._] Ah! Ah! Ah! [_In her ear._] What a
night I've spent!
OTTOLINE.
[_Almost inaudibly._] And I!
[_He seats her upon the settee on the right and sits
beside her, linking his hand in hers._
PHILIP.
How merciful this is of you! I've just sent you a letter by Robbie
Roope, begging you to see me; you've missed him. [_Smiling._] It isn't
as eloquent as some I started writing at five o'clock this morning.
Would you like to hear it? [_She nods. He recites his note tenderly._]
"Forgive me. I forgive you. When may I come to you?" That's all.
OTTOLINE.
_Isn't_ that eloquent, Phil?
PHILIP.
[_Smiling again._] It's concise--and as long as you forgive
me--[_eyeing her with a shadow of fear_] you're _sure_ you've forgiven
me?
OTTOLINE.
Sure.
PHILIP.
[_Persistently._] Without reserve?
OTTOLINE.
Should I be here--[_indicating their proximity_] and _here_--if I
hadn't?
PHILIP.
[_Pressing her hand to his lips ardently, and then freeing her
shoulders from her coat._] Take this off----
OTTOLINE.
[_Gently resisting._] Poor Sir Timothy----!
PHILIP.
[_In high spirits._] Oh, a little exercise won't do Sir Timothy any
harm! [_Helping her to slip her arms out of her coat._] Dash it, you
might have let _me_ escort you to Bond Street!
OTTOLINE.
No, no; your work----
PHILIP.
[_His brow clouding._] W-w-work----?
OTTOLINE.
You mustn't lose your morning's work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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