So, to begin at the beginnin', An' come direcly to the pint, I think the country's underpinnin' Is some consid'ble out o' jint; I aint agoin' to try your patience By tellin' who done this or thet, I don't make no insinooations, I jest let on I smell a rat. Thet is, I mean, it seems to me so, But, ef the public think I 'm wrong, I wunt deny but wut I be so,-- An', fact, it don't smell very strong; My mind 's tu fair to lose its balance An' say wich party hez most sense; There may be folks o' greater talence Thet can't set stiddier on the fence. I 'm an eclectic; ez to choosin' 'Twixt this an' thet, I 'm plaguy lawth; I leave a side thet looks like losin', But (wile there 's doubt) I stick to both; I stan' upon the Constitution, Ez preudunt statesmun say, who 've planned A way to git the most profusion O' chances ez to _ware_ they 'll stand. Ez fer the war, I go agin it,-- I mean to say I kind o' du,-- Thet is, I mean thet, bein' in it, The best way wuz to fight it thru; Not but wut abstract war is horrid,-- I sign to thet with all my heart,-- But civlyzation _doos_ git forrid Sometimes upon a powder-cart. About thet darned Proviso matter I never hed a grain o' doubt, Nor I aint one my sense to scatter So 's no one could n't pick it out; My love fer North an' South is equil, So I 'll jest answer plump an' frank, No matter wut may be the sequil,-- Yes, Sir, I _am_ agin a Bank. Ez to the answerin' o' questions, I 'm an off ox at bein' druv, Though I aint one thet ary test shuns 'll give our folks a helpin' shove; Kind o' promiscoous I go it Fer the holl country, an' the ground I take, ez nigh ez I can show it, Is pooty gen'ally all round. I don't appruve o' givin' pledges; You 'd ough' to leave a feller free, An' not go knockin' out the wedges To ketch his fingers in the tree; Pledges air awfle breachy cattle Thet preudunt farmers don't turn out,-- Ez long 'z the people git their rattle, Wut is there fer 'm to grout about? Ez to the slaves, there 's no confusion In _my_ idees consarnin' them,-- _I_ think they air an Institution, A sort of--yes, jest so,--ahem: Do _I_ own any? Of my merit On thet pint you yourself may jedge; All is, I never drink no sperit, Nor I haint never signed no pledge. Ez to my principles, I glory In hevin' nothin' o' the sort; I aint a Wig, I aint a Tory, I 'm jest a candidate, in short; Thet 's fair an' square an' parpendicler, But, ef the Public cares a fig, To hev me an' thin' in particler, Wy I 'm a kind o' peri-wig. P. S.