Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
When the cab containing Rachel and her companion rolled away, he walked
toward Fifth Avenue, without realizing what he was doing, stunned as if
he had received a blow. For an hour he walked in a sort of stupour.
Then he entered a cafe. As the blood circulated sluggishly in his
veins, he had fallen into the habit of drinking moderate but constantly
repeated quantities of liquor; the stimulant was no more manifest
through the pallor of his countenance than wine that is poured into an
opaque vessel, but it seemed to quicken his faculties. Summoning an
attendant, he gave an order. He remained in the cafe until evening.
When he entered Emily Short's room, Rachel stood near the table well in
the light of the lamp. She greeted him with a touch of constraint.
More than usual her eyes kept a watch on him. Her whole countenance
announced subtly and triumphantly that she had it in her power to
redeem her debt: then, perhaps he would release her! This thought
seemed to flash even from her hands.
He looked swiftly at her hands. She was fingering a small packet of
which his misery divined the nature. She had wrapped it in tissue
paper. This girlish device to render the thing she planned to do less
distressful, struck a blow at his heart.
"One word--listen to me!" he cried, keeping an agonized gaze on the
packet, "I no longer wish--I realize that to unite your life with
mine--I know the very thought is painful--"
Lifting his eyes, he saw an expression like a darting of light.
Conscious that he was not speaking as he had intended to speak, he drew
his fingers through his hair. "You are free," he stammered, "it was
never my intention to hold you to your promise. But it is impossible
that you should comprehend my struggle--"
He broke off, striving for his usual calm, and this effort to place a
mask over his anguish produced on her much the same effect as the
concealing piece of paper had produced on him.
Caught in a tide of emotion, she extended a hand: "But I can--I do
understand. Haven't you shown your feeling for me constantly? You
have been kind--kind!"
He shook his head. "No, no," he muttered, "not kind; helpless. I
tried more than once to release you; I beg you to believe this. But I
loved you too much." His face expressed acute suffering; his lower lip
trembling so that he could scarcely pronounce the words.
"Can you forgive me?"
No concealment now. A naked, humble, imploring, despairing soul looked
from his eyes.
It was not in her to resist such an appeal. Her heart flamed with
pity, pity that annihilated all selfish exultation. "There is nothing
to forgive."
"But you do forgive me?" he insisted.
"I thank you--I thank you from the bottom of my soul."
Again he shook his head disowning his right to gratitude. His eyes
once more watched what she held.
All at once, reading his look, the discrepancy between the nature of
her indebtedness and the sordid return she had planned, struck her.
She laid the packet on the table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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