Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Emil was on his way to the station now; in her mind she could see him
swinging along the road: so robust and naïve was his egotism, he would
never question for a moment that she would come. At the thought of his
disappointment, she began sobbing with her handkerchief to her lips.
All sorts of dark thoughts rose indistinctly from the depths of her
soul. Simon, save for one failing, was hopelessly free of faults; he
was almost perfect. Scarcely aware of what was passing in her mind,
she began picturing what would happen in case of his death. But there
was Annie. However, Annie could obtain a divorce; she could return, as
Emil had said, to her parents. Rachel arranged every detail of the
situation; but these scarcely articulate plans, these involuntary
dreams, were accompanied by a physical sensation of shame--revulsion.
She shook herself free of the sorry brood and looked about her. Had
she been there an hour, two hours, five minutes? She did not know.
Presently a vesper bell from a distant village sounded intermittently
above the plashing of the waves. With her hand pressed to her heart,
she listened. Then she sped to the house.
In the hallway the old-fashioned clock marked a quarter past five.
Three quarters of an hour more! There was still time to meet Emil!
And she pictured him waiting for her in the grove near the station,
impatiently scanning the road. Reaching her room, she flung herself
into a chair and clung to its arms to prevent herself from answering
the summons. Dumb, breathless, distraught, with her head hanging on
her breast, she listened to the measured ticking of the clock which
reached her from the hall. She could still restrain her body, but she
could not control her mind.
"To-day decides my fate; either I go with Emil now, or I remain with
Simon forever. To-day decides my fate."
She seemed to have a fondness for the phrase for she said it over and
over.
"If I remain with Simon, all will go on as before; but if I go with
Emil--"
She closed her eyes. The walls of the room dropped away and she saw a
landscape. Sedge grass bordered the road to the station. In it she
sank repeatedly and its brown waves washed over her head. But ever
before her was Emil. Infinitely multiplied, he smiled at her from the
leaves, the grass, the dust. The faces resolved themselves into one
face. He drew near; she was penetrated by his presence. All the love
in her, all the joy of which she was capable, was revealed. She
clasped her hands about his neck, she laid her face on his breast, and
the past with its futile struggles, its anguish, like a bad dream,
receded from her.
Then she recognized the sunlight striking through the white shades of
the room. It was tracing the usual pattern on the floor and glistening
indolently on the brass knobs of the dressing-table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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