The Bishop's Apron: A study in the origins of a great familyMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
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The Bishop's Apron: A study in the origins of a great family
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Clergy -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction
The Canon was no feminist. It was one of his cherished convictions that
women should be kept in their place, which, with regard to the lords of
creation, was chiefly the background. He felt that the attitude which
best became them was one of submission. Like the natural savage,
unspoiled by the vice of civilization, he considered that man should
hunt, fight, and be handsome, while the weaker sex toiled for the
privilege of contemplating his greatness. He had never imparted these
theories to Lady Sophia.
“When you want something from a woman insist upon having it,” he added.
“Hammer away and in the long run you’ll get it.”
“But Winnie is so different from other girls,” replied Wroxham,
unconvinced.
“Nonsense! Every man thinks the girl he wants to marry different from
every other. But she’s nothing of the kind. Women are very much of a
muchness, especially the pretty ones. I have no patience with this
ranting about the equality of the sexes. It is not only irreligious but
vulgar. I lay my faith on the Bible, which tells us that women shall be
subject unto man. I’ve never met the woman that I couldn’t turn round my
little finger.”
He looked at that particular digit. It was adorned with a handsome ring,
on which in all their monstrous fraudulence were the arms of his family.
His voice rang with manly scorn.
“No, my dear Harry, you have my full approval. And you have my assurance
that Winnie undoubtedly cares for you. What more can you want? Hammer
away, my dear sir, hammer away. The proper fashion to deal with a woman
is to ask her in season and out of season. Propose to her morning, noon,
and night. Worry her as a terrier worries a bone. Insist on marrying
her. Sooner or later she’ll say yes, and think herself a prodigious fool
for not having done so before.”
“You’re very encouraging,” said the lover, smiling.
Canon Spratte’s cheery vigour was irresistible, and the force of his
rhetoric seemed to overcome even material obstacles. But when Wroxham
considered the affair he was puzzled. He was a youth of only common
intelligence. This the Canon had observed with satisfaction, for he knew
that nothing is so prejudicial in the world of politics as to excel the
average. It did not appear natural that Winnie should refuse him out of
mere virginal coyness, as the hen-bird flies from the nightingale till
he has sung his most amorous lays. Her melancholy pointed to something
more complex.
“You’re very encouraging,” he repeated, but this time with a sigh.
“There are few men who have more experience in the management of the sex
than I,” returned Canon Spratte, with the air of a Sultan who has
conducted with unexampled success a seraglio of more than common
dimensions. “Now what do you propose to do?”
“I don’t know,” answered Wroxham, somewhat helplessly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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