American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“Which the part I bears,” responded the Old Cattleman, “wouldn’t amount
to the snappin’ of a cap. As to tellin’ you-all concernin’ said outburst
of pop’lar enthoosiasm for Old Stewart, I’m plumb willin’ to go as far
as you likes.” Drawing his chair a bit closer to the fire and seeing to
it that a glass of Scotch was within the radius of his reach, the Old
Cattleman began.
CHAPTER XVII.--THE GREAT STEWART CAMPAIGN.
As I states, I saveys nothin’ personal of politics. Thar’s mighty
little politics gets brooited about Wolfville, an’ I ain’t none shore
but it’s as well. The camp’s most likely a heap peacefuller as a
com-moonity. Shore, Colonel Sterett discusses politics in that Coyote
paper he conducts; but none of it’s nearer than Washin’ton, an’ it all
seems so plumb dreamy an’ far away that while it’s interestin’, it can’t
be regyarded as replete of the harrowin’ excitement that sedooces a
public from its nacheral rest an’ causes it to set up nights an’ howl.
Rummagin’ my mem’ry, I never does hear any politics talked local but
once, an’ that’s by Dan Boggs. It’s when the Colonel asks Dan to what
party he adheres in principle--for thar ain’t no real shore-enough
party lurkin’ about in Arizona much, it bein’ a territory that a-way
an’ mighty busy over enterprises more calc’lated to pay--an’ Dan retorts
that he’s hooked up with no outfit none as yet, but stands ready as far
as his sentiments is involved to go buttin’ into the first organization
that’ll cheapen nose-paint, ’liminate splits as a resk in faro-bank,
an’ raise the price of beef. Further than them tenets, Dan allows he
ain’t got no principles.
Man an’ boy I never witnesses any surplus of politics an’ party strife.
In Tennessee when I’m a child every decent gent has been brought up a
Andy Jackson man, an’ so continyoos long after that heroic captain is
petered. As you-all can imagine, politics onder sech conditions goes
all one way like the currents of the Cumberland. Thar’s no bicker, no
strife, simply a vast Andy Jackson yooniformity.
The few years I puts in about Arkansaw ain’t much different. Leastwise
we-all don’t have issues; an’ what contests does arise is gen’rally
personal an’ of the kind where two gents enjoys a j’int debate with
their bowies or shows each other how wrong they be with a gun. An’ while
politics of the variety I deescribes is thrillin’, your caution rather
than your intellects gets appealed to, while feuds is more apt to be
their frootes than any draw-in’ of reg’lar party lines. Wherefore I
may say it’s only doorin’ the one year I abides in Missouri when I
experiences troo politics played with issues, candidates, mass-meetin’s
an’ barbecues.
For myse’f, my part is not spectacyoolar, bein’ I’m new an’ raw an’
young; but I looks on with relish, an’ while I don’t cut no hercoolean
figger in the riot, I shore saveys as much about what’s goin’ on as the
best posted gent between the Ozarks an’ the Iowa line.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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