That evening Woody bitterly regretted that he also had not given a
flat no to Rocky's request. If he had done so, it would be settled and
he would have been saved a lot of mental and emotional turmoil. When
he got home he found his father was out of town on business and would
not be back for two or three days. Woody would have liked to talk to
his father about driving the Black Tiger in the hope that he would be
forbidden to race. That would solve the matter by putting the blame for
the decision on someone else. Woody didn't feel exactly comfortable at
that thought but was looking for a way to escape making the decision
himself.
It was no good talking to Worm. Worm would only insist that he refuse
to drive the Black Tiger. And Worm was really in the same position in
regard to racing as himself. If Tom Wisdom or any of the other drivers
he'd met had been around, he would have consulted them for their views.
But Woody didn't know where they lived and had no way of finding out.
In the end, desperate for someone to talk his problem over with, Woody
took it to Mary Jane. He didn't really think she could help him with
it. He already knew her views on road racing. But at least she was
someone to talk to. He was too ashamed to unburden himself to Steve.
To his surprise, Mary Jane's reaction was quite different from what he
had expected. He told her everything, not sparing his own feelings in
any way. Though he blushed while doing so, he confessed that he was
scared of racing and had many times missed chances on the track through
sheer fear. He said he had been afraid even to talk of his fear and
now was in the predicament of being asked to drive the Black Tiger. He
confessed that he was mortally afraid of doing it and also afraid of
refusing, both because of his reputation and what it might do to his
morale.
Mary Jane didn't interrupt once while he was talking. When he had
finished, she said:
"Woody Hartford, you're the most mixed-up person I ever met. There's
nothing for you to do but drive the Black Tiger. I'm surprised you
can't see that yourself."
"What?" cried Woody, amazed.
"Look," Mary Jane continued. "You know how I hated the way you were
always spending time and money on Cindy Lou. I still don't see that
it's important for one driver to prove he can go faster than another.
And I don't see that it's important for people to keep building faster
cars. If you were going to drive the Black Tiger just to show that it
would go faster than those Ferraris or what-nots, I'd tell you not to
be so silly.
"But that's no longer the reason. The reason now is to show that you've
got the courage to drive the car even though you're afraid of it.
That's a very important reason. It's much more important than all that
stuff about developing safer cars and so on.
"You've just got to drive the Black Tiger. That's all there is to it.
Otherwise you won't be Woody Hartford any more. And the person I'm
interested in is Woody Hartford."
Woody was stunned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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