The Blind Mother, and The Last ConfessionCaine, Hall, Sir
General
The Blind Mother, and The Last Confession
Caine, Hall, Sir
Fiction
At the next instant the face was gone. In the moment following I lived a
lifetime. My brain did not think; it lightened. I remembered the death
of the American in the streets of Fez. I recalled the jeering crowd at
the top of the alley. I reflected that Larby was gone to tell the mob
that I had dishonored one of their sanctuaries. I saw myself dragged
out, trampled under foot, torn to pieces, and then smuggled away in the
dusk on a donkey's back under panniers of filth. My horses ready, my men
waiting, my boy dying for want of me, and myself dead in a dunghill.
"Great Jehovah, lend me Thy strength!" I cried, as I rushed out into the
alley. Larby was stealing away with rapid steps. I overtook him; I laid
hold of him by the hood of his jellab. He turned upon me. All my soul
was roused to uncontrollable fury. I took the man in both my arms, I
threw him off his feet, I lifted him by one mighty effort high above my
shoulders and flung him to the ground.
He began to cry out, and I sprang upon him again and laid hold of his
throat. I knew where to grip, and not a sound could he utter. We were
still in the alley, and I put my left hand into the neck of his kaftan
and dragged him back into the saint's house. He drew his dagger and
lunged at me. I parried the thrust with my foot and broke his arm with
my heel. Then there was a moment of horrible bedazzlement. Red flames
flashed before me. My head grew dizzy. The whole universe seemed to reel
beneath my feet. The man was doubled backward across my knee. I had
drawn my knife--I knew where to strike--and "For my boy, my boy!" I
cried in my heart.
It was done. The man died without a groan. His body collapsed in my
hands, rolled from my knee, and fell at my feet--doubled up, the head
under the neck, the broken arm under the trunk in a heap, a heap.
_Oh! oh! Larby! Larby!_
Then came an awful revulsion of feeling. For a moment I stood looking
down, overwhelmed with the horror of my act. In a sort of drunken stupor
I gazed at the wide-open eyes, and the grimacing face fixed in its
hideousness by the convulsion of death. O God! O God! what had I done!
what had I done!
But I did not cry out. In that awful moment an instinct of
self-preservation saved me. The fatal weapon dropped from my hand, and I
crept out of the place. My great strength was all gone now. I staggered
along, and at every step my limbs grew more numb and stiff.
But in the alley I looked around. I knew no way back to my people except
that way by which I came. Down the other alley and through the crowd of
idlers I must go. Would they be there still? If so, would they see in my
face what I had done?
I was no criminal to mask my crime. In a dull, stupid, drowsy, comatose
state I tottered down the alley and through the crowd. They saw me; they
recognized me; I knew that they were jeering at me, but I knew no more.
"Skaïrî!" shouted one, and "Shaïrî!" shouted another, and as I staggered
away they all shouted "Skaïrî!" together.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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