“O Hell!” said Ramon to himself. But aloud he proposed that they should
drive to an adjacent hill-top from which the lights of the town could be
seen. When he had parked the car on this vantage point and lit a
cigarette, Dora began a narrative of a kind with which he was thoroughly
familiar. She was of that well-known type of woman who is found in a
dubious position, but explains that she has known better days. Her father
had been a judge in Kansas, the family had been wealthy, she had never
known what work was until she got married, her marriage had been a
tragedy, her husband had drank, there had been a smash-up, the family had
met with reverses. On and on went the story, its very tone and character
and the grammar she used testifying eloquently to the fact that she was no
such crushed violet as she claimed to be. Ramon was bored. A year ago he
would have been more tolerant, but now he had experienced feminine charm
of a really high order, and all the vulgarity and hypocrisy of this woman
was apparent to him. And yet as he sat beside her he was keenly, almost
morbidly conscious of the physical attraction of her fine young body. For
all her commonness and coarseness, he wanted her with a peculiarly urgent
desire. Here was the heat of love without the flame and light, desire with
no more exaltation than accompanies a good appetite for dinner. He was
puzzled and a little disgusted.… He did not understand that this was his
defeated love, seeking, as such a love almost inevitably does, a vicarious
satisfaction.
Repugnance and desire struggled strangely within him. He was half-minded
to take her home and leave her alone. At any rate he was not going to sit
there and listen to her insane babble all night. To put his fortunes to
the test, he abruptly took her in his arms. She made a futile pretence of
resistance. When their lips touched, desire flashed up in him strongly,
banishing all his hesitations. He talked hot foolishness to which she
listened greedily, but when he tried to take her to Salvini’s again, she
insisted on going home. Before he left her he had made another
appointment.
Now began an absurd contest between the two in which Ramon was always
manœuvring to get her alone somewhere so that he might complete his
conquest if possible, while her sole object was to have him gratify her
vanity by appearing in public with her. This he knew he could not afford
to do. He could not even drive down the street with her in daylight
without all gossips being soon aware he had done so. No one knew much
about her, of course, but she was “one of those eating house girls” and to
treat her as a social equal was to court social ostracism. He would win
the enmity of the respectable women of the town, and he knew very well
that respectable women rule their husbands. His prospects in business and
politics, already suffering, would be further damaged.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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