"Will we take you?" A broad, brown hand grasped Montague's arm, and he
found himself being led into a room in the Armories, where he
discovered that his full name was Dennis Oliver Montague, that he was
twenty-eight years of age, that he was an Anglican, and that his Uncle
Charles was his next of kin. He further found that he was the property
of His Majesty King George the Fifth for the duration of the war and
six months after. "So 'elp me; and shove 'im in to the medico.--Glad
you signed up, my lad; you'll never regret it. We've got a man's job
for you, and--close that bleeding door, Nokes.--All right.--_Next!_"
With whirlwind rapidity Dennis stripped for the doctor, who pronounced
him an excellent example of cannon-fodder; and, still dazed, he put on
his clothes and emerged into the open air, a red band about his arm
proclaiming to the world that he was now Private D. O. Montague, of the
Brindle's Battalion, C.E.F. He gasped, shrugged his shoulders, then
went home.
VII
Sergeant Skimps surveyed the squad of recruits with the eye of a man
who had seen recruits for twenty years and was impervious to any
emotion on the subject.
"You're soldiers now," he began, his dialect strongly reminiscent of
Bow Bells; "you're in the service now, so, kiss me, 'Arry, get your
'air cut, all of yer. We don't go in for Paderooskies in the harmy.
Then 'old yer 'eads hup and put yer chests hout has though you was
somebody. You ain't, but don't go tellin' no one." (A gentle murmur
greeted this sally.) "Halways respeck yer hofficers and
non-commissioned hofficers, and don't go slapping the colonel on the
back and hoffering 'im a cigar. You're in the harmy--that bloke at the
hend, spit out that there tobacco--g'wan!--a filthy 'abit on parade,
and it'll get C.B. for yer. Where do you 'ail from, hany'ow?--a nice
specimen, I don't think--chewing when a sawgeant's talking to yer. Now,
then, fall in--hanother 'arf-hour's drill."
For five hours that day alternately Sergeant Skimps talked, and his
tired squad turned, marched, and wheeled about the gravel
parade-ground. Weary to the point of exhaustion, already deaf to the
interminable harangue of Sergeant Skimps, the hour of four-thirty found
Montague with his first day in the army finished. He had only one
desire--to seek his apartment, to feel the cool shower upon his body,
and to lounge in languid repose in his dressing-gown, soothed by the
inevitable cigarette. He broke away from the group, but was hailed by a
ruddy-faced Little Englander, who had made various overtures to him
during the day.
"Going up?" said the other, his accent proclaiming his British birth,
tempered by ten years of Canadian citizenship.
"Yes," said Montague; "but I'm in a hurry."
"Right-o! I'm with you." He swung along beside Montague. "This is the
life," he said cheerily.
"What?" asked Montague.
"Soldiering--a dollar ten a day, short hours, and no work--what ho!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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