Was it indeed the woman who, when I last saw her, had not dared to raise
her veil, as if she were afraid I should see the traces on her pale
cheeks of Tournade’s caresses? Yes, it was the same woman who now
received me laughing in insolent bravado with not a trace of
embarrassment; and she was still beautiful, adorably beautiful, with her
fine and delicate beauty, which I believe would never have deserted her
whatever her surroundings; but she was now so provoking, so shameless!
Not a word, not a blush, not a falter betrayed that she felt any emotion
at seeing in me the witness of what must remain to her a perpetual
memory. She lit, while she listened to me, an Egyptian cigarette of
tobacco the colour of her hair, and smoked it, exhaling the bluish smoke
through her delicate nostrils, with wide open eyes between her eyelashes
which had been slightly eaten away by the crayon she used. Her mouth
looked too red from the rouge of the night before; her cheeks were
fuller and her throat was larger; and her more opulent lips were defined
by a dressing-gown which was a costume of blue stuff worked and
embroidered with silver. I began as a matter of politeness by giving her
a brief account of my travels, my work and my return; then I broached
the real object of my visit, and I conveyed to her brutally, without
evasion, Molan’s proposal.
“Is he cad enough!” she said shrugging her supple shoulders. “Is he cad
enough!” For a moment I hoped that a nausea of disgust would prove to me
that the old Camille was not dead. But no, she went on after a brief
silence: “If there is really a fine part for me, tell him to send or
bring me the play. He is so very clever when he is clever! Have you read
the play? Is he satisfied with it? You know I am really in need of a
fine part. So is he, for since he has become wealthy, he is allowing
himself to be forgotten. Between the two of us I will answer for its
success: his prose is so tender and I interpret it so well!”
Not a vestige of indignation did she feel, that indignation I had felt
at knowing that the sorrowful romance of her irreparable downfall was
profaned! Hardly a vestige of malice did she show against Jacques, that
malice he himself expected! From her clear eyes which retained the
colour, the transparent purity, of the days of her innocence, I now saw
her smile at the fine part, as I had seen Jacques smile on the subject
of the play. Then it was I really understood the reason I should never
be a great artist. For them—for him as I have always known him, for her
as she has become after her first experience, their entire life, hearts
included, is only an opportunity for producing the special act they have
to produce, the precious secretion which they make, as the bee does
honey, as the spider does its web, by an instinct blind and ferocious as
all instincts are.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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