The blue wall : $b A story of strangeness and struggleChild, Richard Washburn
General
The blue wall : $b A story of strangeness and struggle
Child, Richard Washburn
Physicians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
She was right, but there is an end to all things and the end of all my
ruinous luck came at Venice. It came with Margaret Murchie; it came, I
believe, at the very instant that I saw her sitting in a cafe there--saw
her sitting alone, golden from head to foot, golden of hair, golden of
skin, golden rays shining from her eyes, showers of gold in the motions
of her body--a living creature of gold, shining as a great mass of it,
warm and bright and untarnished as a coin fresh from the pressure of the
dies. I took her with me to Tuscany--stole her from an old vixen of a
fortune-teller. Ah, I see she did not tell you all!--Never mind. There
was no disgrace for her--she might well have told everything! She needed
no blush for the story. It was the only pretty thing in my life.
The trees of that country grow at the edges of green meadows, tall and
stately as the trees of Lorrain's brush. Sheep, with soft-sounding
bells, feed along the rich rolls of the land. Birds sing in the thicket
at daybreak. The hills are alive with springs of matchless clearness.
Butterflies hover over hedges and dart into half-concealed gardens.
For a month we played there like children. Her ignorance was charming.
Her mind was like a fresh canvas; I could paint whatever I chose upon
it, and loving her, I painted none but beautiful pictures, pictures of
the divine things that were still left in the violated mortal sanctuary
of the soul of Mortimer Cranch.
What did I accomplish by spreading all the fruits of my education and my
familiarity with refinement before her? What did I accomplish by my
mastery of mind? I accomplished my undoing! You need not ask how. I will
tell you. I made this healthy, glowing Irish lass believe in the beauty
of character which I insisted she possessed. I made her believe that she
was a noble creature and that she was capable of fine womanly
unselfishness. It was like the influence of the hypnotist. My own
fanciful conception of her, at first described merely to awake in her
the pleasures of admiration, became, when repeated, convincing to
myself. I began to feel sure that she had the rare qualities which I had
ascribed to her. I found myself desperately in love with her--not only
intoxicated by the beauty of her body and the sound of her laugh, but by
real or imagined beauty of character as well. This acted upon her
powerfully. She, too, began to believe. Her capacity for goodness
expanded. A sadness came over her.
"Why are you so thoughtful?" I said to her one midday as we sat together
on a ledge overlooking the peaceful valley.
"Don't ask," she said bitterly, looking at the ground.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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