As jealousy is not an elementary psychical phenomenon, but simply an
empirical mixture, it has many and varied ethnical forms, and becomes
necessary in all countries where polygamy prevents man from physically
and morally satisfying a woman, and where the husband, merely because he
is rich and powerful, selects his wife and forces his love upon her. The
jealousy of many Oriental nations is proverbial, and perhaps monogamous
peoples become jealous through contact with polygamous ones, as in
Sicily and in certain parts of Spain. It seems to me, however, that in
some cases jealousy has not a clear historical origin, but assumes an
ethnical character, according to the special constitution of a race. In
any case, in Europe, Italians, Spaniards, and, above all, Portuguese are
very jealous; and, as I learned, in America the most jealous of all are
the Brazilians.
The common people will certainly not be persuaded by my psychological
analysis, and will continue to measure the force of love by the
unreasonableness of suspicion; and many dear and lovely women will
continue, heaven knows for how many centuries, to taunt their lovers
with this foolish plaint: "You do not love me because you are not
jealous. How can you love me if you do not feel for me the slightest
jealousy?" Foolish lamentations, often uttered by happy creatures who,
perhaps, finding it strange and against nature to be too happy, look for
some occasion of sorrow and regret. Can anyone love anybody on earth
more deeply than one's own children? Certainly not; and yet we are not
jealous when others love them, and father and mother sublimely vie with
each other in adoring and fondling them. You should love your companion
in love in the same manner; and if you fear to lose him, that fear must
not be the wrath of the inquisitor nor the clutch of the miser. Vain
counsels! Words thrown to the winds! Jealousy is one of the most
constitutional psychological maladies, and, if one is born with it, it
is very difficult to cure. May a benign fate keep it from you! It
poisons the dearest joys of life; penetrates every pore of the skin;
pours its gall into every drop of water, into every mouthful of bread;
it transforms the man who loves into a policeman, always armed, with
alert ear and prying eyes. And the jealous man is always spying,
doubting, suffering; he investigates the past, the present and the
future; he seeks the lie in a caress, indifference in a kiss; in love he
always fears hypocrisy. What a hellish life! It is a hundred times
better not to love than to love in this way. The punishment of the few
jealous men with exquisitely gentle heart should be this: to know that
those who are as jealous as they generally entertain more self-love than
love, and that the highest and noblest creatures have always loved
without jealousy. The day when we perceive that we are no longer loved,
when we are deceived, let love die without replacing it with jealousy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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